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otto150

last week at the range

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I'm gonna guess you had to be there. Maybe I just need to know how obese the gentleman was and it will help the visual image. Had he been of ordinary size, this would have lost all of its humor.  Also, could you explain the odor...it would add a touch of realism and help bring the reader right into the story. A little longer setup may be helpful along with more detail about the sound could strengthen things. That sound leading to the punchline should be so vivid that even the dumbest of us on this forum would hear it as we read.  Who was on the smoke break?  You, or the fat man?  And last Sunday was a good start. Morning?  Noon?  11:43?  Details Otto. We need more details. I'm subscribing. 

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16 hours ago, DNP said:

I'm gonna guess you had to be there. Maybe I just need to know how obese the gentleman was and it will help the visual image. Had he been of ordinary size, this would have lost all of its humor.  Also, could you explain the odor...it would add a touch of realism and help bring the reader right into the story. A little longer setup may be helpful along with more detail about the sound could strengthen things. That sound leading to the punchline should be so vivid that even the dumbest of us on this forum would hear it as we read.  Who was on the smoke break?  You, or the fat man?  And last Sunday was a good start. Morning?  Noon?  11:43?  Details Otto. We need more details. I'm subscribing. 

Please, my hunger glands are still going overtime from your post in grilling, I don’t want to think about fart oder.

:nutkick:

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