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Walker's Game Ears


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Well, there I wuz, down in the back 40 gittin ready to try out my bran new muzzle brakin thang (y'all know bout them thangs but it wuz new to me) when i re-lized I ain't got no cotton to stuff in my ears.  I figgered, whut the heck, can't be no louder than them sticks of 40% we fish with.  So I git the gun all laid out on the stump and pick out that there piece a papper I stuck in the log end out yonder, I takes a big ole deep breath, blows out most uv it (cause I dint know whut I needed it all fer) an squeezed down on the trigger ... GEE HAW WHIMMYDIDDLE! ... Who wee, I can't hear nothin' but the Church bells a ringin an I figgered I wuz deff as a post.  Figgered I wuz probly best off goin back up to Maw and gittin some cotton afore I tried that again (an maybe a drink uv "sprang water" whilst I wuz there to ease off the pain).  Well, she give me whut fer fer bein pure stupid an bone headed, an a cupple other thangs I didn't hear reel well an then she give me sum plastic ear muffs. Well, them thangs looked purty funny an they sure clamped down on the noise but I had a reel problem with them thangs bouncin off ever time I shot but anyway they wuz better than them bells a ringin.


Cupple days later on, Maw called me in an she talked sum more about my ancestory, my lack uv edecasion and upbringin, and some unsavory habits I didn't know she knowed about, then she give me a couple uv whut she called Walker's Game Ears (I knowed she wuz funnin me cause I seen lots a ears on game and ain't none uv em looked like these thangs.  In fact, they look a hole lot like whut ole Judge Purtle wears down at the jailhouse to help his hearin.  I couldn't see how sumpthin what was supposed to hep my heerin could cut down on that there muzzle breakin blast but I figgered whut the heck, I'd give em a try (sides which, ifn I wuz stone cold deff, she couldn't pich a fit when I pertended I didn't hear her talkin to me) so I put em in and proceeded down to the stump agin ... Hot Diggity Dog, them thangs wurked!  All I heered wuz a "Boink" when the gun went off even though I could heer them corduroy britches  a zip zip zippin whilst I wuz a walkin.  The only down side I kin see now is that Maw wants me to wear em all the time and says there ain't no scuse fer not heerin her holler!

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