suzukiray

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" "Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy." The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she replied. "Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"

On their wedding night, the young bride Approached her new husband and asked For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that She needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that His employer was going through a process of corporate Downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find Another position that paid anywhere near what He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued By the bank which was worth over $2 million, And informed him that they Were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for more than Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, These holdings had multiplied and these were the Results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!' That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes, men just don't know when To keep their mouths shut Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced Constables waiting in the front yard. “We are sorry, Mr. O’Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen," said one of the officers. “Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked. The constables looked at each other and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?" Fearing the worst, Mr. O’ Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The constable said, "I am sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay." “Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O’Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?" “The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Have not seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch." “Stunned, Mr. O’Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that is the good news, then what is the really great news?" “The constable replied, "We are going to pull her up again tomorrow."

AWESOME!!!!!

Pinky is old news!!! I want to see you with a rainbow, My Little Pony like in the picture!!! Lol!!! I've never seen Pinky but I would shoot it!!!

Tom, I DARE you to build this for the Fall Shoot!!!!

Aaaahahahahahaha!!!!

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them.. Thanks for telling me officer.” Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’ “Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?” “Not everybody pays.”

I hope that made you laugh Tom, it was meant to be funny.

The Modulus is a copy of the 5D. It is in litigation now. I'm NOT a fan of companies stealing other people's ideas.

I found Tom's Tinder ad!!! Lmao!!!

Tom, dont know if you know this or not but the Mojaves are the worst ones we have to get bitten by! I had one in the middle of camp about 10 years ago. Used it to make sure all the kids knew what they sounded like. It was in the middle of a bush right in front of where my truck and trailer were parked and went off when I was walking up to the truck. I used to catch them every summer so knew how to handle them. I had to LOOK pretty good to even see him, the camouflage was so good!! Got a hooked metal rod I have to pull him out after I got everyone to put their dogs away and got the kids ready to watch. It never did strike the whole time I had it out and then I released it into a ditch a couple of hundred yards away after I showed everyone and taught the kids what they sounded like. Mohave is the LAST rattler I would want to be bit by!! It was a good teaching experience for all the kids with us.

I have the 5D also and concur it is the best I've used so far. And I own 3 or 4 different other brand jigs also.

I see a nice hat band and some meat for a pot of chili there!!!

Here you go Tom!!!

ROLMMFAO!!!!

Aaaaahahahahahaha!!!!

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race and it won again. The local paper headline read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! Have a nice day!