suzukiray

Lol!!!

Anyone make any shine??? I just made a batch of Orange Creamsicle and it has about 10 more days to go before it's ready. Yeah, not REAL moonshine, but as close as I can make right now. 11 jars fermenting the sugar a little and then I will make a batch of Apple Pie. Tried a little today, after making it Thursday night, and this stuff will be as smooth as Kool Aid!!!!

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Welcome from the People's Republic of Commiefornia!!

Three Women Get Married There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counsellor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal. The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile. Well the counsellor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counsellor if you keep a good record. He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them. He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, the pail and saucer, method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work. He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going. They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet. Well the counsellor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method, but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby. He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, the birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby. He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer method. .Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is.Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you. She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.

Sounds like the one here in Commiefornia!!!

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”. The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. The moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.

A clothed shot of her, in case the other one offends.

Her name is Jordan Carver and she is a German model. A Mauser?? Lol!!!

Welcome from the People's Republic of Commiefornia.

Aaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I love dogs! Anything with dogs is good!!!!

I have NEVER been able to break any of their 1/2" drive impact sockets.

Congrats Cliff!! While it is never easy to lose even one pal, let alone 2, and a human friend on top of all that, it really is true that the new one will help the healing process!! Good luck with your new little buddy!!!

Damn Shepp, you are the MAN!!!!

Ammo is getting scarce! This morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?" I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"

Nice hat band there too!!!!

They DON'T make good pets!!!!

This one is TRUE!!! Sad but true.