OPLAN 1225C (PLAN CHRISTMAS) (U)

[Robocop1051]

Subject:      OPLAN 1225C (PLAN CHRISTMAS) (U)

Department of the Army

HQ, XVIII Airborne Corps and Fort Bragg

Fort Bragg, North Carolina  28310-0000

AFZA-GC                                                                                            18 December 2012

1.  An official visit by MG  Santa (NMI) Claus is expected in this command 25DEC0001Zulu2012.  The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

      a.  Not a creature will stir without official permission.  This will include indigenous mice and protected species—especially red-cockaded woodpeckers.  Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the Office of Corps Surgeon,Veterinary Services.

      b.  Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 24DEC2300Zulu12.  Uniform for the nap will be:  Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, Shade 334 (OD) with Kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps.  Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 23DEC0100Zulu12. Personnel will draw three caps in order to achieve zero balance priority order status then immediately turn in one as excess to fill priority requisition.

      c.  Personnel will utilize standard A-ration sugar plums, two (2) per soldier, for visions to dance through their heads.  This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility. Operational reserve stocks of Meals, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) will not be issued for this purpose.

    d.  Stockings, wool, cushion sole, OD will be hung by the chimney with care.  Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings close to chimneys. (See paragraph 2, below). Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking-hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 20DEC0600Zulu12, ATTN:  AEAGA-S, for approval.

      e.  At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause.  Immediate action will be taken to tear-open the shutters and throw-open the window sashes.  ACofS, G-3 “OPLAN SAINT NICK,” Reference Letter Order (LO) No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter-tearing-open and sash-throwing.  Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open and no window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.

      f.  Prior to 24DEC12 at EENT, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eyes” stations.  After shutters are torn and sashes are thrown, these stations will be manned and operational. NODs will be issued and employed IAW unit/organization TOE/TDA.

      g.  ACoS, G-4 will ensure assignment of one (1) each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) Deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver.  Said driver will, IAW current directives and other applicable regulations, have a valid operators license Special Form (SF) 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking for all structures; and be able to shout, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.” Neither MG Claus nor his driver will be required to complete property accountability documentation, as such action may result in lumps of coal in combat boots.

    h.  Due to heavy aircraft traffic in the AO and ADIZ, and the threat of mid-air collisions, the lead Deer, rein, tiny will have a visible red strobe light mounted on its nose. Infra-red filter will not, repeat, not be used.

2.  MG Claus will enter buildings, quarters, bunkers, and fighting positions through standard chimneys.  All units without standard chimneys, such as those units deployed in tactical situations and having only hasty fighting positions, will draw Simulator, Chimney, M-6A1E2, for use during ceremonies.  M-6A1E2 chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 12DEC0900Zulu12, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.

3.  Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”  This shout will be given vigorously and in unison on departure of MG Claus from each visit location.  Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of unit commanders and staff division chiefs. (Note: Tactical units in contact with aggressor forces may submit a request for exception to shouting, and, with approval by a first-level general officer, may forego actual shouting.  Instead, those personnel of units with approved exemptions will silently mouth the words “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night” in unison so as to maintain tactical noise discipline. To preclude abuse of such an exception, first-level general officers will exercise discretion and conservative approval of only the most compelling and well-documented requests.)

FOR THE COMMANDER:

                                                  CHRISTOPHER K. RINGEL

                                                  Colonel, Infantry

DISTRIBUTION:

Everybody Who Still Believes

Commander, XVIII Airborne Corps

Deputy Commander, XVIII Airborne Corps

Chief of Staff, XVIII Airborne Corps

Commanders of All Assigned and Attached Units to XVIII Airborne Corps and Fort Bragg

Corps Surgeon, Veterinary Services

Installation Commander

    Central Issue Facility

    Driver Testing

    Furniture Warehouse

    Provost Marshal

    Unit Safety Officers

[unforgiven]

<lmao> <laughs>  Good one brother. <laughs> <lmao>

[Rsquared]

:laughing4:  <lmao>

My god Robo. Do you know just how funny that is?

Merry Christmas my brother!  ......in a non-denominational form.

[392heminut]

That was awesome. Thanks Robo! <thumbsup>