Old Cowboy's Logic

[mrmackc]

This ain't all of it, but some I picked out for you folks.

Don’t name a cow you plan to eat.

Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.

Don’t corner something meaner than you.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Don’t squat with your spurs on.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

When in doubt, let your horse figure it out.

A good fence should be pig tight, horse high, and bull strong.

Good judgment comes from experience, specially them that had to pee on the electric fence.

If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then, to make sure it’s still there with ya.

Only a fool argues with skunk, a mule, or a cook.

Any hoss’s tail kin ketch cuckleburrs.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.

A pair of six-shooters beats a pair of aces.

An angry bull is less dangerous than an angry woman.

An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences — some of them true.

Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

A cow outfit’s never better than its hosses.

 

 

[mrmackc]

here is some more stuff from my cousin that is 94 and lives in an assisted living place, which is almost like living in a nursing home but costs more. This is what she comes up with:

 

 

 God's Plan for Aging:
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. 
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted..
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.  

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom

Don't look down your nose, about this being silly, Lord willing you will be old too, someday. . . .

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Edited September 4, 2019 by mrmackc

[unforgiven]

Good one brother 👍 never thought I'd make it this far down the road.

A toast to all our brothers and sisters that are unable to be with us today. 🍺

[Cunuckgaucho]

A lot of wisdom wrapped up in a sentence or two.

[98Z5V]

11 hours ago, mrmackc said:

Don’t corner something meaner than you.

I've learned this the hard way - I think.  That means "I don't know if I've learned it or not, by now."  I keep trying.

Wildlife taught me, the hard way.  You don't under-estimate an animal, based on it's looks.  If it looks slow, fat, lethargic - or if it looks "cute and harmless" - it has the speed and violence-of-action to kill you with an immediate burst of sudden violence and destructive nature.  Okay, I get it. Now...  That's a painful lesson, literally.

I think I've learned this with women, too - at least, I like to tell myself I've learned those lessons.  I keep falling into the same traps, though... 

One day, I'll either get it or I won't, and a critter or a woman is just gonna straight kill me.  At that point, I'll know for sure whether I was dumb or smart, learned or not... 

[mrmackc]

98, I think you must have peed on an electric fence or two.

[Sisco]

12 hours ago, 98Z5V said:

I've learned this the hard way - I think.  That means "I don't know if I've learned it or not, by now."  I keep trying.

Wildlife taught me, the hard way.  You don't under-estimate an animal, based on it's looks.  If it looks slow, fat, lethargic - or if it looks "cute and harmless" - it has the speed and violence-of-action to kill you with an immediate burst of sudden violence and destructive nature.  Okay, I get it. Now...  That's a painful lesson, literally.

I think I've learned this with women, too - at least, I like to tell myself I've learned those lessons.  I keep falling into the same traps, though... 

One day, I'll either get it or I won't, and a critter or a woman is just gonna straight kill me.  At that point, I'll know for sure whether I was dumb or smart, learned or not... 

That rule applies to wild animals AND women