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mrmackc

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I knew one or three of them, but not the others.  I have the explanation for 5, though.  "The cry of a new born baby is called vagitus" 

Yeah, no kidding - because he WANTS BACK IN.  After we're born, as Males, we spend the rest of our lives trying to get back in there.

Thus endeth the sermon. 

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#10.  "Your tiny toe or finger is called a minimus."

That one is bulshiit, too.  That's either the 5th MetaCarpal (hand) or 5th MetaTarsal (foot).  I've fucked myself up enough in this life to know what they're called, so I can accurately tell the ER Doc exactly what I fucked up.  It shortens their "evaluation" before you get the care that you need.  Trust me on this.

I skipped the hospital "Triage" one time, and went straight to X-Ray.  FUCKED MYSELF UP in a motocross "incident."  Came up short on a double, and slammed myself.  Broke the fuk out of my left clavicle - more than once.  Bunch of other extraneous shiit, I did to Self, too.  Track workers get me off the track, get into a buddy's truck (with help), head to Madigan Army Medical Hospital.  About a 40 minute drive, from that MX track.  PLENTY of time to check myself out - and find out I'm fucked up all over...

Walk in, present ID Card, and state, "Multiple fractures, left clavicle, two medial left ribs dislocated from sternum, AC dislocation, and posterior dislocation of left shoulder..." 

I wasn't in there for 2 minutes, and someone called my name, and took me straight to X-Ray...   :banana:  The X-Ray tech was being a bitch, after I got shot, and I wanted to see what was going on - he's not allowed to show me.  I pressured the punk a little, and he showed me the graphic - sure as shiit, broke that bastard twice, three-piece collarbone.  FLM.

That X-Ray Tech was gonna try to cut off a BRAND NEW Fox hooded sweatshirt, in order to get the radiation - "I'll kick your ass if you cut this hoodie, know that now..."   :lmao:  Busted as I was, I muscled out of that thing, and layed on that damn table.  Pics taken, info gleaned...  Kiss my ass if you think you're cutting my day-old $60 hoodie, fucker...

Get sent out of X-Ray, back to the waiting room...

Get called in by one of the ER Docs, and he starts...  "So, you THINK you have a broken clavicle, right?"  No, Doc, I know I do, two breaks, three-piece magic clavicle. Two ribs sticking out of my sternum, AC separation, posterior dislocation of my left shoulder...   That dude just about came UNGLUED!...   "Who do you think that YOU are to tell me what injuries you have?!"

Hey doc, check this out...  I've already been to X-Ray...

"HOW DID YOU GET IN TO X-RAY ALREADY?!!?"

No idea, Doc, just walked up to the counter, told them what I had, THEY sent me to X-RAY.  Not my fault...

I felt like I was interrogated for a second, before I had to shut this guy down, and I did promptly.  Explained what heppened, explained my background, explained why I told the counter-attendant what I did - and it just happened after that. 

He left me alone, with that - but he was a little rough in applying that fucking butterfly strap, for the clavicle bullshiit... 

The command got a written complaint about me, the following workday.  I got called in - in a fucking shoulder velcro-sling fucking thing that I was cocooned in... and told them what happened.  MX race was on a Sunday, I was in the office on Monday morning, to answer this ER Doc's complaint against me.  How I skipped "hospital policies" and placed myself ahead of other in ER Triage, yada yada yada....  I didn't do any of that - I just told them what I did, how bad I fucked myself up - and they did the rest.

The communication back to that ER Doc was pretty funny - they showed me what they sent him, and told him to never second-guess anybody from there that ends up in the ER, and explains their own injuries...  :thumbup:

Edited by 98Z5V
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The fifth metatarsal is actually in the middle of the foot on the little toe side. It’s one between the toes and the ankle. I know this, because I broke mine and the crappy clinic they sent me to for workman’s comp fucked me up and did nothing. When I left that guy for my own doc, he said he would have put a single screw in it and we’d be done. He was a sports med guy and said he’d done a lot where people were running track again in a month. I wore a boot for about 3 months and slowly healed after that. Wish I had seen him sooner. 

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I know that, brother.  Broke the 5th metacarpal, right hand, twice.  Punch with the first two knuckles, not the side of the hand.  No glancing blows.  Painful lesson.  Left and right 5th metatarsals both fractured, over time.  Took motrin, didn't ruck for two weeks.  "Metas" are in the hand and the foot, proper, not the phalanges.  That's all the shiit sticking out from the hand and the foot, proper.  Like cat whiskers. 

 

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