Paraprosdokians

[mrmackc]

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected & is frequently humorous.

 

1. Where there's a will I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you . . . . but it is still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we both would be wrong.

5. We never grow up . . . . .we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting tomato into a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

9. You don't need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

                                     More to come later. . . .

 

 

 

 

 

                                                  I figured you would say that.....DUUUHHHH!

 

 

 

 

Edited September 12, 2019 by mrmackc

[washguy]

Awesome Mrmack !       Wash

[mrmackc]

Some More of those thingies. . . . .

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing—after they've tried everything else."

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool 
and throw them fish.

• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify,” I put “A DOCTOR.”

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

 

[sketch]

👍🤣

[Matt.Cross]

One good turn gets all the blankets.

[98Z5V]

2 minutes ago, Matt.Cross said:

One good turn gets all the blankets.

That earned me an ex-wife, right there...     She said I'd turn like an alligator...   Subconsciously, I think I did it on purpose... 

[Matt.Cross]

46 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

Subconsciously, I think I did it on purpose... 

LOL... You think you did it on purpose, so there's some hypothetical possibility here that you are in fact not completely to blame for your subconscious self being animalistic in much the same way as your conscious self?

Any oceanfront property on the back 40 you want to sell me while we're at it?

[98Z5V]

5 minutes ago, Matt.Cross said:

Any oceanfront property on the back 40 you want to sell me while we're at it?

I can talk a woman in white gloves into buying a ketchup popsicle, brother...   

Won't feel guilty, either...  

Edited September 16, 2019 by 98Z5V

[Matt.Cross]

8 hours ago, 98Z5V said:

I can talk a woman in white gloves into buying a ketchup popsicle, brother...   

Won't feel guilty, either...  

It's one of the many reasons I love you brother! 

[unforgiven]

9 hours ago, 98Z5V said:

I can talk a woman in white gloves into buying a ketchup popsicle, brother...   

Won't feel guilty, either...  

That's smooth 😂