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Here Piggy, Piggy, Piggy


Dracomeister

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So there I wuz jest a sittin on the porch, a mindin my own biznis, sippin some Tennessee Sprang Water an watchin the hills when up outta the woods come a little ole piggy.  I had a mind ta shoot him full a holes an put im in the smoke house (cause I dint see no coller on im sos I figered he wuzn't one a Bubba's critters)  but afore I could git my ole smoke pole nutherun come out.  I jest kinda sit there sippin that sweet shine and watchin till a hole herd uv em showed up.  Counted up on all my fangers and toes, throwed in my belly button, both ears, and started on my whiskers afore them whuffers stopped a comin out. Who La Wee, I dint have no ideer theres that many round.  I figgered I might maybe outta call them Guvmint Gamy Wardens afore I cominced ta blastin away since it wuz nite time an they seem ta take a reel dim view uv blazin away at nite. Well, turned out wuz a good thang I did, Y'all ain't gonna beleve this but they said I had ta have a Lisense ta shoot them whuffers at nite!  Cain't hardly beleve that, I ain't never needed no Lisense bufore!  Well they give me that Lisense and said I culd shoot, strangle, trap, stab, poke, or blast em any ole way an at any ole time.  Hot Dog! I got permission ta do whut I wuz gonna do any way, ain't Guvmint great!

 

Well jest about two glasses uv Sprang Water later, bout the time I culdn't see reel strate, wun uv them Guvmint boys come by an said ifn I wuz ta start blastin them piggys (which by this time had wandered off back into the woods) they wood git smart an move on to sumbody elses place an I wuldn't git ta blast em.  He said I shuld bild up a big ole trap and catch a bunch all at once.  I figgered thatud be a good thang cause I culd shoot um up close an personel stead uv takin a chance uv missin one.  Th only problem wuz, he dint tell me how to build a big enuf trap to catch em all.  Y'all got any suggestions?  I'll be a sittin here a ponderin the problem an sippin nuther glass.  Y'all come on over when ya can set a spell.

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If you're gonna catch them pigs, better kill 'em quick or you're in big trouble. They're 'invasive species'.

 

"DNR believes Mark has 70 "illegal pigs" being raised in violation of an invasive species order (ISO). Possession of prohibited swine carries penalties of up to two years in jail and fines of up to $10,000 per violation, so the state is asking for the maximum fine allowed under the law for raising what the state deems the wrong breed of pig."

--Farm Family Threatened with $700,000 Fine for Raising Pigs, MarketWatch, July 8, 2013
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/farm-family-threatened-with-700000-fine-for-raising-pigs-2013-07-08
 

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Knat, Thas whut the Guvmint man said an why I got that there special Liscense.  I rekon I kin build me up a piggy pen long bout 20 foot across, ketch me up ten er more an shoot em all at wunst.  Only problem is diggin a hole big nuf to stuff em all in (after theys ded uv corse).  I likes the look uv the trap Shepp sent but I don't rekon its big nuff ta ketck morn a cupple ata time, I kinda want a bunch.

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When I was in Australia I got to talking to some guys about pig hunting. The way it starts out, someone says, let's have a barbecue. So a couple guys jump into a pickup truck with some pig dogs in the back. They drive out into the scrub until the dogs get excited. They stop the truck, the dogs jump out, and the guys follow the dogs. The dogs eventually run down a pig that's totally exhausted from running and the dogs hold the pig down by the ears. One of the guys takes a knife and bleeds out and dresses the pig right there on the spot. They go back with the carcass and have the barbecue. No guns involved.

 

What that means is they have so many wild pigs running around that you can get one whenever you want a barbecue, it's like a trip to the store.

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Too many dogs and neighbors cross his place for that. Fish And Wildlife have been there for a while now. The pigs are damn smart and show up very randomly. My dad has been given the go ahead to kill by any means necessary...so at least we don't have to wait for them during daylight hours...and he recently found a buddy with a thermal scope. F&W dude runs a silenced AR...couldn't talk him into leaving it with us for a while. The guy has had two of them stolen from his truck though. I bet they're home in a safe.

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