suzukiray

Seriously?? So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. "All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I am going to try it again." (I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, this chick asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

This would be Tom's diner!!!

It's pretty sad how clueless some of today's youth are isn't it??!!!!

Ron, is the .450 the same as the .458 Socom in that you can use the .223 mags? I've NEVER had an issue with my .458 and all I use is .223 mags in it.

Moving safes isnt that bad. I work with a locksmith buddy helping him from time to time and he showed me what it takes. It's all about having the CORRECT equipment to do it. Even stairs weren't too bad once you know how to do it. I still hate stairs with a 600 pound safe though!!!!

Fixed it for you Tom!!!! Aaaaahahahahahaha!!!!!

Aaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Or a blonde!!

Here you go buddy!! And not a BLONDE!!!! And she has SKILLS!!!!

Tom??????

Here you go guys!! Tom and Dirk, this will solve your storage problems!!!

A Philipino delicacy called baloot, I think the spelling is right. Eggs are almost ready to hatch and then buried in the ground for a period of time before being eaten. Seen them, seen people try them, seen same people puke! NASTY smelling, I don't get why someone would want to eat them.

Damn Dirk! My Cummins averages 14 mpg pulling my 5th wheel toy box, loaded, fuel, water, quads and gear at 14,000 lbs. And no matter WHERE we go there is some GIANT grade to climb. It averages 20 around town and 29 if the cruise is on 65 on the freeway empty. I will never own another gas powered truck. Unfortunately the newer 6.7 Cummins is a LOT more thirsty than my 5.9 so this 2004 will have to last awhile.

I have a nephew that works at Lake City. The sales are IMPOSSIBLE to beat!!!!

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32,’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’ Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question. The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’ Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’ While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’ He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’ He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’ Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’ ‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.

I just found this on FB Marketplace.