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LLArms Guide to Internet Forum Zen


Guest LLArms

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I am offering this guide based on personal experience over the past 10 years of internet usage. These guidelines can sometimes be hard to follow, but if you do follow them you will find your membership to most forums a bit more enjoyable.

1. Never Discuss Politics

2. Never Discuss Religion

3. The term "In my opinion" is irrelevant. It will be taken as fact and argued. If you feel the need to state your opinion, try and gauge what the majority of the membership backs. If your ideals match theirs you will be fine. If you see your ideals do not match theirs, best to not offer it.

4. Most forums have a "real life picture thread". Take some time to read it and look at the faces behind the screen names. Once you do this you will find it hard to get mad at people being jerks because 95% of the posters look like they would wet themselves if presented with confrontation outside of a monitor. On another note, you will find some of the most vocal and long time members do not post their picture. There is a reason for that. They are smart enough to realize no one will play their game if you could see what a goof they look like.

Facts You Should Know:

1. 99% of women are ugly to online forum users. However the 1% of women that are acceptable are dating/married to 99% of the forum population.

2. Everyone you meet online is either very fat or very skinny. There is no "in-between".

3. Despite #2 - everyone is either an MMA street fighter or a tier 1 military operator.

4. Knowing someones real name or city they live in somehow makes you the "winner" - even though if you run a company, this information is open to the public anyhow.

5. Everyone works a crappy job. We are all basically burger flippers or liars. No one on the internet can have a well paying job or be successful. Any attempts to prove otherwise are lies. This rule of course does not apply to the person calling BS.

6. Everyone lives in a 5000sqft or greater homes.  Anything under this means you are poor. Even if you are single, 4999sqft or smaller means you are poor and flip burgers.

7. If you decide to troll the trolls and out troll them, they will claim that your claims of trolling them were just a lie and a quick cover up. There is no way you out maneuvered them intellectually. You are inferior and this is an impossible task.

8. Knowing how to put on hand guards and change butt stocks makes you a competent gunsmith. You are a master of your hobby and anyone attempting to correct you should promptly be made aware of your vast knowledge of accessory attachments and how they are wrong or just plain stupid.

9. Having a family member (like a third cousin) who is in fact a real Navy Seal makes you by direct relations a Navy Seal or someone who has mastered the knowledge of a Navy Seal. Substitute Navy Seal for any other number of coveted groups (Delta Force, SWAT, etc. etc.)

10. The .22 caliber bullet is a joke, its like getting shot with a pellet gun.

11. Owning an Airsoft weapon means you are proficient with the real world equivalent.

12. Owning the following rifles makes you an expert in historical weapons: M1 Garand and Mosin Nagant are the top picks, but others apply.

13. Only newbies don't have forward assists or dust covers.

14. If its not a Glock it is sub-standard.

15. If its not a 1911 it is sub-standard. (Despite #14)

16. The .45 cartridge is superior in every aspect to the 9mm cartridge.

17. The capacity of a .45 doesn't matter. Everyone who carries a .45 is a master marksman and claims one shot kills are 100% (no matter where you hit). The other 7 rounds in the magazine are for 7 more targets.

18. The capacity of a 9mm is for newbies. 21 Rounds? You wouldn't need that many if you carried a .45!

19. Apparently they are two types of long distance shooters.  Tactical and Regular. Even though both use a rifle, a scope, ammo and a support rest of some sort, one is clearly superior than the other.

20. Military Sniper Setup is a step above a Sniper Setup and two steps above just a Setup. What this means is a bit hazy. I would assume using the word "Military" or "Sniper" adds extra equipment points to your "Setup".

21. If you run a company that sells firearms parts, anyone who inquires is entitled to your most detailed R&D documents and specific schematics. Failure to do so obviously mean you don't know what you are doing.

22. As a business owner, you should understand that when you call someone out on acting obnoxious, you are simply not allowed to do this.  The proper thing to do is to bend over and ask for more and enable people's bad behavior.

23. Showing only glimpses of your product is horrible marketing. Never mind the fact that every major product that has ever existed uses this tactic, its just horrible. When you release that you have an upcoming product the proper thing to do is to refer to #21 on the list.

24. Everyone on the internet is a marketing wizard.

25. If one person doesn't like something, then nobody likes it.

26. Too expensive for one person, clearly means it is too expensive for everyone.

27. Even though ideas advance given time because people do new things or produce new things, according to some very smart people somewhere on the internet, if it has not been done yet - there is probably a good reason. Its a stupid idea to do something new. You should just recycle whats already out there and put your company logo on it.

More to come as they come to memory.

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Guest LLArms

#19 and #20 added after a recent thread on another forum was read with a newbie inquiring about long range shooting and some of his terminology.

Obvious troll or the real thing? Who knows!  <dontknow>

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#19 and #20 added after a recent thread on another forum was read with a newbie inquiring about long range shooting and some of his terminology.

Obvious troll or the real thing? Who knows!  <dontknow>

Glad I'm not the only one who notices this type of thing. I find it pretty interesting that the definition of a sniper predates the military sniper context, and yet a choice few military types have a monopoly on it somehow... No disrespect intended to our members who serve or have served, you guys know I appreciate and respect you.

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Guest LLArms

Correct, the term was earned by killing a very elusive marsh bird.

The verb "to snipe" originated in the 1770s among soldiers in British India where a hunter skilled enough to kill the elusive snipe was dubbed a "sniper".

Camouflage may enable snipe to remain undetected by hunters in marshland. If the snipe flies, hunters have difficulty estimating a correct aiming lead for the bird's erratic flight pattern. The difficulties involved in hunting snipe gave rise to the term “sniper,” referring to a skilled anti-personnel military sharpshooter.[
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Guest LLArms

#21 and up have been added.

All are new things I've learned over the past few months as our company has made its rounds around the interwebs.

We are looking for one of them there marketing guru's if anyone is available!  <thumbsup>

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