GENERAL-- Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, More powerful than a Steam engine, Faster than a speeding bullet, Gives policy to God!
COLONEL-- Leaps short buildings with a single bound, More powerful than a shunting engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water (If the sea is calm), Talks with God!
LIEUTENANT COLONEL-- Leaps short buildings with a running start in favorable winds, Is almost as powerful as a speeding bullet, Walks on water in indoor swimming pools, Talks with God if special request is approved.
MAJOR-- Barely clears a Nissan hut, Loses tug-of-war with a steam engine, Can fire a speeding bullet & swims well, Is occasionally addressed by God.
CAPTAIN--Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings, Is run over by trains, Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, Dog paddles, Talks to animals.
LIEUTENANT-- Runs into tall buildings, Recognizes trains 2 out of 3 times, Is not issued with ammunition, Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a life jacket, Talks to walls.
2nd LIEUTENANT-- Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter buildings, Says "Look at Choo Choo" Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition, Plays in mud puddles, Mumbles to himself.
SERGEANT MAJOR-- Lifts tall buildings & walks under them, Kicks steam engines off the track, Catches speeding bullets in his teeth & eats them, Freezes water with a single glance.... HE IS GOD!