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Robo Gonna Get You!


planeflyer21

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When I was a kid, my older brother bought a Montessa Cota with visions of scaling cliffs in the local mountains.

One day we went to the local mountains.  While he was off riding his buddy was letting me shoot his S&W 29.  Good fun for a youngster!

Even more fun when big bro came back with an azz full of cactus.

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2 hours ago, planeflyer21 said:

When I was a kid, my older brother bought a Montessa Cota with visions of scaling cliffs in the local mountains.

One day we went to the local mountains.  While he was off riding his buddy was letting me shoot his S&W 29.  Good fun for a youngster!

Even more fun when big bro came back with an azz full of cactus.

Lol, I've always wanted to ride one but thoughts off an ass full of cactus is what would happen to me

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2 hours ago, shepp said:

Lol, I've always wanted to ride one but thoughts off an ass full of cactus is what would happen to me

If you grew up here, an ass full of cactus will happen sooner or later.  Best to get it out of the way early.

My ex was wearing some hot pants when we went to look at an old Bronco.  She had a stellar azz!  Anyway, not being from here, she bent over to look under the frame, pushed  her butt cheek right onto a jumping cholla.  She was insistent calling me for help.

Got around the Bronco and the piece of cholla was stuck with one needle (mighty damn scarce occurance there!), where her nicely rounded butt curved down to meet her leg.

Apparently laughing is not cool, as she said "AZZHOLE!!"

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8 hours ago, DNP said:

Treat cholla almost like a snake. Stay twice as far away as it is tall. And it still might get ya. 

My favorite cholla stories are the folks that move here from someplace else.  While the "Got a piece stuck in my ______" stories are entertaining, they are much more fun in person.

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Brought a buddy out mt biking on one of my favorite trails. Thought he was lagging behind so I pulled of to wait...and wait...and wait. Finally got nervous and started hiking back up. Found him sitting on a rock contemplating his life choices. He went down on a steep drop and barrel rolled through a cholla patch. They were in his neck...his armpits....between his fingers...it was like a Taliban torture session. Almost passed out while I was plucking him. 

 

The real bonus was finally getting back to the trailhead and seeing our cars had been broken into. His window was busted.

 

He never rode with me again lol.

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On 5/11/2016 at 7:27 PM, planeflyer21 said:

If you grew up here, an ass full of cactus will happen sooner or later.  Best to get it out of the way early.

 

Back when I was a street cop I got sent on a call about three boys hanging out in an old shed during school hours. I pulled up and got out of the car and they bolted on me around the corner of the shed and across the alley into a gravel parking lot. The last one slipped in the gravel going around a cactus garden and barrel rolled through a huge prickly pear cactus. That kid HAD to have been covered from head to toe with cactus spines by the time he regained his feet. I was laughing so hard all three of them got away.:lmao:

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2 hours ago, 392heminut said:

Nah, I'm happy with derailing yours!:laffs:

Well then:

My buddy had recently taken up road bicycle racing and had basically no stamina. He went riding with a mutual friend who rode like 50 miles per day commuting, talking the whole time.  Dragged newb out on the Old Spanish Trail loop, to Sonoita Hwy, then back.

Newb bonked on the way back, going down a hill that terminated in a curve...just kept going straight, no energy to turn.  Other guy kept riding and talking for about 5 minutes before realizing he was alone.

Went back and pulled newb out of a 15'x20' patch of prickly pear. :laffs::lmao:  He was just laying there wishing for death.  Finally made it the last few miles home, drank a Pepsi and was like new again.

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When I was about 10 years old I fell into a prickley pear bed while hunting, from the middle of my back to the back of my knees.I had on a tee shirt and summer shorts. My brother and I picked the bigger stuff out and I went home, didn't sleep for 2 or 3 nights and my mom tweesered out needles and little fine ones, when they would surface. needles worked out of my back and legs for months.

I won't allow cactus of any size type or shape on my property. When we moved to Midland Texas in 1985 there was a large cactus next to the front porch. My first day off I took a machatte and a shovel to it, roots and all went into heavy black trash bags and to the dumpster it went.. The neighbor guy said Boy Howdey! that Halliburton guy surely don't like Cacti, does he? Found out later he was from San Jose California and worked for OSHA.

Are you sure that Pepsi works that way?

Edited by mrmackc
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1 hour ago, planeflyer21 said:

It does when a person "bonks", zero spare glycogen to burn as fuel.  I've seen a few amazing recoveries from soda pop when people bonk.

Sounds logical to me as long as it isn't Diet.

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