parenting woes

[edgecrusher]

i saw this on the local fm radio dj posted it, i agree with dad, kids are outta control. my daughter is six and ok for now, and hopefully for ever. but if you have problems, maybe this will help

[imschur]

This has gone viral. Unfortunately I think the media will have a field day with this.

"Exploding hollow point bullets" NBC will surely do an undercover expose' now.

[unforgiven]

Sad as a parent with 2 girls now 26,and 35,and now with 4 grand children 2 boys and 2 girls.Being a parent is quite a challenge these days,this facebook poop is just that IMO that kids are so weak that they will commit suicide because of remarks made by someone they can't see is beyond belief.We all want to make a better life for our kids than what we had myself included.We have always tied privledges with responsibilites they had to give to get.As soon as responsibilities were not met school,chores not met privliges were revoked.Now their is sense entitlement with kids that they just get and not give,IMO you can't buy your kids affection or respect you can't be a homie to them.They need a parent that shows respect first, with that comes the bond of friendship.Having been raised by an abusive alki father that bond saddly was not their yea he taught me how to survive and develop a work ethic but I thought about killing him also.But I didn't, knowing that the time would come and I would make my own life which I did at 16 and having worked since I was 12.When I met my wife her girl was 13 and hated me caused I came into the picture Yet I treated her like my own and we made our family,when I saw she was screwing up and told her mom,mom said I think the worse in people yet realized I was right and took the corrective action necessary.The same with my youngest no favorites the computer was always in the main room so we could walk up on her at anytime to see what the hell she was doing.Nipping the problem in the bud is easier than trying to correct a past practice,get the crying over with as soon as possible than move on to bigger issues.Tough love is just that but love none the less.If you didn't care you wouldn't say anything.My kids aren't perfect they can be dumbass's but stupid doesn't make you bad,and if you learn from your mistakes that's a good thing [but it shouldn't get to the point of it being lifethreating] common sense should prevail.Brother edge from the Vid of you and your daughter I could see a lot of love their between the both of you.And the way she bodyslamed herself and got right back up,you are go to go.If any one instills core values,respect and love thats all you can do.The last thing is peer presure,they have to realize that when their ass is in the sling that it's the parents that will always be there and not thier friends.I could go on but I won't,as always thanks for hearing me out.My .02 Rene

[edgecrusher]

your opinion is respected as well as all your experience. i am tough on her but fair. my ex is against me at all times, but i think my daughter respects the difference and the structure i implement. i make sure she knows i am proud and love her, but i also want her to learn from doing, which as you saw, get up when you get knocked down and don't give up.  <thumbsup>

[hobbesgunner]

He can do what he wants to make a point to his kids but the dumbass didn't need to broadcast it for the world to see.....they made a big deal out of it on morning radio here...came across quite negatively of course..just giving the anti's ammunition ...

[98Z5V]

At the end of my son's 7th grade, I'd had enough of his excuses for schoolwork, but his intense focus and concentration on his Xbox.  I went to the garage and snatched up my shop hammer (BFH, if you guys know what that is), placed his Xbox in his bedroom doorway - and DEMOLISHED it.  Right there in front of him.

Capacitors, resistors, circuit board...  everywhere.  Everywhere...

Went to the kitchen, pulled out a garbage bag, and made him clean up the mess.  He tried to save a few resistors and capacitors - made him chuck those, too. 

His grades went up.

He just recently bought a new Xbox for himself, last fall.  With money he earned over the summer, when I made him work in the shop all summer.

[edgecrusher]

yeah, the local radio here loved it. and i'm on board. people need to nut up or shut up. kids are totally different than when i was young, and that wasn't long ago. nice job tom. i like bfh's, have an eight lb sledge myself.

[98Z5V]

I LOVE what this guy did here, blasting the poop out of the laptop with a .45.  Couldn't be more perfect, IMHO.  If I could've gotten away with blasting Jake's Xbox with a .45, in suburban Phoenix, I would have done that.  BFH was the next best option. 

I'm glad I didn't video his Xbox destruction, though - I looked like a psycho caveman, clubbing that thing like it was a baby seal.  :o

I'd STILL be in the nuthouse if a video of that got out.  :cookoo:  I felt pretty damn good after that, though - it definitely had it's intended affect. 

[unforgiven]

Way to go brother Tom the BFH has suppressor attached :o.Actions left unchecked only get WORSE.If you don't earn it you don't appreciate it that's a fact.Stay the course and its gonna be all good.Got a family that loves and respects me sometimes I still cannot believe how lucky I am. :)

[Guest LLArms]

On a side note it drives me nuts when other people are visiting us and their kids are just being disrespectful or running around nuts and the parents (usually the mother) acts like its business as usual.

My daughter knows better - but she is a kid and will pick up what other kids do. I've gotten pretty close a couple of times of doing my best "scare the poop out of them" deep voice and demanding they do what their parents say and stop acting like a little turd in MY home, or I will do what their daddy refuses to do and smack the crap outta you.

Of course I'd never do the smacking part - cause you know, jail sucks and all - but kids don't know that.  8)

[Retired JM]

...knowing that the time would come and I would make my own life

This. Most kids live in the "here and now" and don't realize that there's life beyond childhood and school.

As for what that guy did, it's a technique. Not the approved technique, but a technique just the same. My only criticism is that he waited much too long to act. I was always taught that one can start off strict and then ease up later, but that it was very hard to start off permissive and then try to crack down.

[edgecrusher]

i took my daughter skating yesterday at the rink, and got some "looks" from the other parents when my daughter tried some bullsh*t. "i can't skate on this ice, it's better outside, ok, you want to go? there is no ice outside, and this is better ice anyway… either you want to be here or not…" *looks*… and then she skated.  let the other people put up with that shit, i don't. she gets good grades, knows how to take care of herself in the morning for school and at night for bed, does well at sports, but all kids need to be pushed and directed, not coddled. i'm her parent not best friend, that will come as she gets old enough to handle and earn that.

[unforgiven]

That is exactly right brother JM the problems he has did NOT happen overnight.

[Microgunner]

I liked the shooting, although he didn't seem to know how many rounds his pistol held.

I like that he posted the video on his daughter's facebook page wall, just like she had posted the nasty little letter that started the whole incident.

I think he should have left the cigarette out of his video.

I think I would've liked to have seen the family dog take a dump on the laptop keyboard as well. Can you train a dog to do that on cue?  ;D

[unforgiven]

Brother Micro dog taken a dump on laptop with a little piss for good measure yea  <laughs>He sure did not look very competent with that firearm. My dog shits and pisses on command.Like my other dog the buzz word is rest stop,and go caca's. ;) Looks yea,well if you didn't like her looks I know she sure as hell didn't like YOUR'S brother edge  :o

[planeflyer21]

I think I would've liked to have seen the family dog take a dump on the laptop keyboard as well. Can you train a dog to do that on cue?  ;D

My last dog would hold it until we went for a morning walk.  Going down an alley, when he was in tall grass, I'd say "Go poo!" and he'd squish the WHOLE thing out inbetween steps.  Didn't have to shovel poop 'til he got older.

My buddy saw this and thought he could do it on command.  Over at his house one day, my dog just happened to drop a BIG bomb...perfectly within the top of a plant-pot in my friend's front yard.  <laughs>

I guess later that day my buddy was planting new plants and SURPRISE!  <lmao>  He wouldn't shutup about that for a month.

Payback for that time as teens he was drunk, doing a slolem in his truck, with me on the hood, him and another laughing hysterically.

Jon

[skeeter]

Looks like the guy was visited by the local police and child protective services.

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/news/local/youtube-dad-who-shot-daughters-laptop-gets-visit-a/nHbcR/

[98Z5V]

Looks like the guy was visited by the local police and child protective services.

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/news/local/youtube-dad-who-shot-daughters-laptop-gets-visit-a/nHbcR/

What a giant barrel of poop - CPS went there after weenies that viewed his video called them.  :tfg:

The former Marine wrote on his Facebook page that Child Protective Services officials came to his home in Stanly Co. on Saturday and interviewed him and his daughter — separately — after viewers of the video called with concerns about his actions.

He said the police also stopped by.

“The police by the way said ‘Kudos, sir,’ ” Jordan wrote. "I actually had a "thank you" from an entire detectives squad. And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How’s about those apples? Didn’t expect THAT when you called the cops did you?”

[98Z5V]

Chuck Norris wears Tommy Jordan pajamas...  <thumbsup> <laughs>

[edgecrusher]

<laughs> <thumbsup>

[98Z5V]

From his Facebook page - long read, but very worth it:  <thumbsup>

Update:

This may come as a wild shock to some.. wait for it.. wait.... (I need that guy who did the awesome HD youtube parody to do me an intro here. Where is he when I need him?)

I'm NOT a hero... of ANY kind... at all.

I'm not a super-dad, or awesome parent.

I'm a normal guy with reasonable a moral compass that I try very hard to keep pointed north. I make a LOT of mistakes. Did I say a LOT? I mean a WHOLE lot! Daily... sometimes hourly!

I'm extremely lucky to have a very strong wife who tolerates me and puts up with my mistakes, and who herself is strong enough that she can put me in my place with only a look.. no really.. you haven't seen her "I'm not kidding anymore" face... it's serious.

(For example I can apparently destroy a laptop and garnish world-wide attention in mere seconds, but I guarantee tomorrow morning my wife will say "Hey Chuck Norris. Make the freakin BED WILL YOU PLEASE" because I'll forget to.

(I have to admit the "Chuck Norris wears Tommy Jordan pajamas" comment will stay with me for the rest of my life. I want that on a bumper sticker!)

I'm lucky to have great kids (two of them) who look up to me despite all my mistakes.

I make bad parenting decisions all the time. We all do. Personally, I stand behind the decision I made earlier this week by posting the video. I don't find fault with it. If I had it to do again... let's see... I'd do it almost the same.

I'd not be smoking a cigarette. (That's a habit I promised my wife I'd quit as soon as I could afford to just go out and buy a Chantix prescription. She absolutely hates it and I'm getting mature enough to want to quit it for my own reasons as well.)

I'd not have used the word "ass" in my comment directed at my daughter. That was rude and a bad example of a parent using the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy

I'd have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots.

That's it. I meant all the rest of it. My wife is OK with it. My daughter is OK with it. My Mother is OK with it. I'm OK with it. We're the only ones that matter.

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For those that feel the need to keep calling the police and CPS. lol

Apparently both the local police and the department of social services are OK with it. Yes they came. Of course they came. They received enough "Oh my god he's going to kill his daughter" comments that they had to. I knew that the moment it went viral.. it was too late and it was inevitable. I'm only surprised it took as long as it did to be honest.

The police by the way said "Kudos, Sir" and most of them made their kids watch it. I actually had a "thank you" from an entire detectives squad. And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How's about those apples? Didn't expect THAT when you called the cops did you?

The kind lady from Child Protective Services looked all through the house, the yard, and found ours to be a healthy home. She saw the unloaded guns in their rack with the magazines removed and stored separately and safely. Funny thing: The case officer asked to see "the gun".... "Umm, sir, may I see the actual..umm.. weapon used for the video?" She wasn't at all scared of me but I could tell she doesn't like guns as a general rule. To each their own though. She was comfortable that I was adhering to NC gun safety regulations for the protection of minors, and that's all she needed. But of course if you want to continue, I'm just going to leave a pot of coffee on for the next officers who come by. (Digress: Maybe I can get Krispy Kreme to sponsor me with lifetime donuts? Oh God that would be heaven. Dunkin? Crap... KK all the way....)

She asked if I minded if she interviewed my daughter privately but that I didn't have to agree. I let her meet in private and then she and I met for about an hour and a half. At the end of the day, no I'm not losing my kids, no one's in danger of being ripped from our home that I know of, and I actually got to spend some time with the nice lady and learn some cool parenting tips that I didn't know.. I use them on my 8 year old son, but not on my fifteen year old daughter.. but now I will! There were a few things I thought she was "too old" for, but after talking to the case worker, I feel like it's worth a shot to try them. Maybe I'll sell those secrets in my next book! (Seriously? You just got mad didn't you? I'm kidding. Besides, that would still only give me two pages of material- one parent tip page and one page on handgun selection techniques appropriate for different electronic destructive purposes.)

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Back to me being a normal guy... I digressed again.

You guys caught me on eight and a half minutes of ONE day in my life, probably the worst day in my life as a father. So, all in all, I consider the vast overwhelming show of support to be very very gratifying... that was me at my worst, not my best. If most of you found me OK as a Dad at that time, then I'm definitely OK the rest of the time. I was angry, hurt as hell, emotional as can possibly be, and stunned still. I'd taken an hour to compose myself, but apparently I should have waited longer.. and maybe used the .22 instead of the .45. (And since when does an 8 minute video EVER go viral? And maybe the next video I'll do will be auctioning the pistol I used.. that should buy some serious college tuition, but please understand that I will definitely use the profits to also purchase a replacement .45.)

I'd like to think that if a camera followed me around and filmed every moment of my life as a parent, most of you out there would still put me in the plus column. Truthfully most of you would probably be bored. I'm just ordinary. I was raised old fashioned, and I raise my kids the same way... the modern generational concepts be damned!

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And OK, so THAT brings me to a topic I'll close with, though I had no intention of speaking on it when I started this rant. (Hey, aren't the 25 thousand of you who subscribed really regretting it now? I'm always this scatter brained. Makes you wonder how I formed enough sensible sentences to write a book doesn't it? Then again... maybe that accounts for the book sales being in the toilet...)

So, my last point:

I've received a LOT of comments (and by lot you have to understand there's literally MILLIONS of them. I'll likely never be able to read them all in my lifetime) pointing out that I was raised old fashioned apparently that that I needed to learn to be a parent in today's world.

Umm.. is there a polite way to call bull***t!?

The kids today ARE self entitled, spoiled, adverse to working, and basically have NO usable skills taught to them in schools. (Yes some of you out there excel. If you've graduated high school and at least pay some of your own bills, then I'm not talking to you. If you however are 25 and live with your parents because you're too lazy to get a job, then yes, I'm talking to you. Half of that is the parent's fault for thinking that the school system is supposed to raise their kids. The other half is a parent's fault for letting our school systems get to the utterly pathetic state they are in. It's your kid.. so no matter what it's ALWAYS your fault.. get it?

I'll give you a real example from the NC school system. My daughter just finished Honors Geometry in school. Halfway through the semester she asks me "Dad, can you help me type this math problem into your graphing calculator? I can't get the equation to come out right." I said "sure" and went over to help out. The problem was about calculating the tangent of a line, but I can't remember the specifics of it at the moment. I took a look at it and said "Honey, why don't you just do the problem manually... you know, on a piece of paper? It's pretty easy."

She honestly looked at me like I was a complete idiot! "You can't do it with a pencil and paper, Dad. Sheesh!"

I stared at her dumbfounded. "Honey, you DO know that tangential math has been around since the 1600s, right? Over 500 years. Long BEFORE graphing calculators existed..., right?"

Her response was "Well, we're not taught that. We're just taught how to enter it into a calculator and get the right answer."

Absolutely SURE she must be crazy, I checked.... and she's right. HONORS mathematics at the high school level doesn't teach kids basic math principles. At all!!! If a modern honors geometry student had to calculate the distance of a line from the top of a flag pole to any point in space relative to the ground.. they have no idea how to do it. (How many of you just asked your kids to show you how to do that? Wait... how many more are Googling it right now? Stop. That's cheating.)

Further, almost every state now is taking "writing" out of schools. Kids are now being taught to print, and that's it. No need for actual writing because they all have computers. I'm NOT making this up! This is TRUE!! They learn the alphabetic characters... and nothing more. The age of eloquent thought borne by patient strokes of pen to paper... are gone like Rhett Butler's sex appeal.

So let me recap... you don't learn math, you don't learn to write actual words without the benefit of spell-check. You don't apparently learn grammar either because I've SEEN those text books and quizzes.. horrible.

Yet you want ME to stop raising MY child with old fashioned methods that actually made me fairly intelligent, capable of fending for myself, capable of managing money, holding a job, respecting my elders, etc?

So you can replace it with what? You want to teach kids it's OK to talk back to parents as long as they have the freedom to express themselves. You want to outlaw spankings. You've obviously made it OK for them to be stupid upon graduating high school. You've recently made it illegal for kids to work around any animal that can harm them under the age of 18, to include working in hay lofts, around dogs, or cats, horses, or cattle, etc. (Thanks for that law Obama.. idiot) You won't let them work in a restaurant that serves alcohol until 18 in most states. You won't let them work at ALL until 15 (It was 13 for me, but Dad lied and got me started when I was 12). When are they supposed to learn actual adult stuff exactly? When do they learn responsibility? No kid left behind? Pfft.. EVERY kid left behind! (Dang I'm mad now.. maybe I WILL run for President... no, wife already vetoed that one. I'd really love to though.. really, seriously!)

"Modern" parenting raises ill-prepared kids who can't do anything and have no skills because they're protected from even LEARNING them until 18 years old, at which time you want us parents to throw them out into the world, send them off to college, and expect them to be productive members of society? You can take your "modern" parenting, and shove it. Jeezus people. Half of you think chores at 15 are too much! God forbid we make them actually WORK too!

(packing my soapbox away and going to bed now)

[392heminut]

ROFL!!! I love this guy! This reminded me of the time my older son kept bouncing a basketball off the side of the house (no basketball hoop anywhere in the area) after I told him to stop it a couple of times. I stuck a Gerber blade in that ball and never bought him a replacement. I caught a little flak from the wife, but when he bought himself a new ball there was never another issue with it being bounced on the house! <thumbsup>