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jokes WE made up


MaDuce

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It's been a dark and gloomy week end. I'm in the mood for some jokes. It seams there are few highly cicrulated jokes going around I haven't already heard. But some of the best I've heard were made up by the individual I heard them from and some of the best of those I've heard from the gun community. So, let's hear them. Jokes YOU made up.

Edited by MaDuce
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Here's a few of my own to get things started.

 

 Q&A jokes from when I was a kid.

 

Q. Do you know what Romania said to Russia when Russia offered them Turkey?

A. Norway too much Greece. I'm also not Hungary.

 

Q. The strongest man in the wrld was arrested. Do you know why?

A. He lifted a bank.

 

Q. The tallest man in the world was arrested. Do you know why?

A. He was high.

 

Story jokes from the last few years.

 

A terrorist cell in Afghanistan was expecting the US military to attack them the following day. But the cell leader knew that all cells the military engaged were wiped out and he didn't want his cell to face the same fate. So, in what appeared to be a stroke of genius he sat them in front of a TV and said, "Men, we will fight the Americans tomorrow and I want you to be best prepared. So I want you to watch this movie. It's called, "Black Hawk Down". It was made by the Americans and it shows how their soldiers really fight. Watch it and you will jknow best what to do when you face them tomorrow."

 

So they all watched the movie as he ordered. When the Americans arrived the following day, the terrorists all promptly surrendered.

.....

 

 

There was a vetrans day parade and WWII vets were marching with all their medals. Spectators noticed one fellow's chest was covered in medals but they were all nazi medals with silver crosses and swasticas. Spectators notified the authorities who pulled him aside and said, "Are you a German veteran?" He replied, "No, I am American." They then said, "It's a terrible insult to our troops for you to be marching with some medals you bought at some pawn shop. These men fought hard for our freedom and their medals are symbols of their accomplishments." The man replied, "You have me all wrong. I am a vet and these medals are simbols of my accomplishments. They're my trophy collection.

 

Moral of the story. You don't win wars by dieing for your country. You win them by making the other SOB die for his.

......

 

This one was meant for kids. Probably a little too cheezy for most adults but great for telling kids at a babrbeque. Read the last sentince of the joke out loud or you may not get it.

 

There was a knight and a dragon who were best friends. They did everything together. They both loved steak and the knight was a great cook. So they would kill a wild bull every day and the knight would marinade the meat over night and they would cook and eat it the next evening.

 

One night, the knight marinated the meat but the next morning the dragon woke up and let out a big yawn causing fire to blow out of his mouth and cook the meat.

 

 They were both upset that the meat had been cooked early but they weren't willing to waste it, so they tried it anyway. To their surpprise it was very good. Realizing they discovered a new recipe, they called it the flaming yawn.

Edited by MaDuce
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There once was a beaver from Nantucket,

Who made a soldier crap quite a bucket,

Bashed on its head,

Until 'twas quite dead,

Soldier cried "Where went my pole?! Aawww phukit!"

<laughs> <lmao>    THAT'S PERFECT!!!   :hail:

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