98Z5V Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope ... and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer - no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.Did you know that deer bite?They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go.A deer bites you and shakes its head -almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave - I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!All these events are true so help me God... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt.Cross Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Wow, I cracked a few ribs I laughed so hard!!! I'll send ya the bill... LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TacBlade Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Now thats a true Redneck!!! LOL!!!! Just Kidding!!! But, on a serious side, How many cows you got? My wifes parents have a few. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWshooter Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 You aren't another one of those Marines from Texas are you? After reading about your attempt I've decided not to bring any rope with me when I hunt, just so I won't be tempted. You live pretty close to the border, maybe you could refine your technique on wetbacks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imschur Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 <laughs> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukid Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 <lmao> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survivalshop Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yes , a bullet of some sort in there vitals ,does make for a better day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockednlocked Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 LMAO... best thing Ive read in years... thanks for sharing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BR-549 Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 <lmao> <lmao> <lmao>ROFLMAO--CGU (Rolling on Floor Laughing My Ass Off and Can't Get Up)That was some wild experience you had there. It's funny how we seem to underestimate the raw power that nature has bestowed upon it's non human population. I have a story about a home invasion by a skunk I will share sometimes that is almost as funny. Why do we have to learn things the hard way? :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sellmarkguy Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Too bad you did not have a baseball bat handy.You could've hurt that deer Mafia-style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SendaPill Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 I'm so glad you told us that. Every time I laughed out loud I would then get sad. I realize that would have been me some day. The thought of getting the crap beat out of me by a deer, blood leaking out at random places, and hollering like a girl, ... these are all sad things. I think I'm going to reread your post 10 more times just in case 20 years and unknowable bottles of beer cause me to forget a deer won't deliver the exact same enlightening education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgecrusher Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 <lmao> <lmao> i wish i saw this sooner, i might regret coming to visit in october. <laughs> holy crap batman! i almost can't believe what i just read. how's the noggin? i'm sweating i'm laughing so hard. oh mylanta that shit's funny. btw, i have two pits, neither of which have ravagely attacked me. or reared up on their hind legs <lmao>. how are you gonna top this one in the fall <munch>. ooh ooh i got, :auto: :auto:, open season on killer mike tyson deer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorJim Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 I don't want to add insult to injury here, but was the roped deer a buck or a doe?Why do I get the impression that 98Z5V engaged in the sport of cow tipping in his youth?Great story, by the way. Sounds like something I would have thought was a good idea in my younger days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
98Z5V Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I don't want to add insult to injury here, but was the roped deer a buck or a doe?DOE. No doubt. Only Estrogen can make something so evil. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajorJim Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Only Estrogen can make something so evil. :oTruer words have never been spoken. I believe you have a new signature line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WonderMonkey Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Great read! I hope you don't mind that I laughed at your misfortune. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigt77 Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 That was hilarious, a very enjoyable read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted January 13, 2012 Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Just caught this thread brother,can't stop laughing <lmao> and we just caught your side of the story.Can't imagine what Bambi is telling the other woodland creatures as they gather around,can you believe what this humanoid try to do to me.............animal piss and poop all over the place from laughing so hard <laughs> Thanks bro I needed that while I look out at 6" of snow on ground. <thumbsup> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texflip Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Wow, you got your own Snopes page and everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
98Z5V Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Wow, you got your own Snopes page and everything.That fucking phenomenal!!! <thumbsup>Crazy poop, I'll tall ya... <dontknow> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sellmarkguy Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Sooo. anybody else here gonna try the roping a deer technique? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigt77 Posted June 24, 2012 Report Share Posted June 24, 2012 [move]<---- This guy! <thumbsup> <laughs> <lmao> <munch> <thumbsup> <dontknow> :) :) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :'( :cookoo: .......this is pretty cool[/move] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted June 24, 2012 Report Share Posted June 24, 2012 Your having to much fun brother bigt. <laughs> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex45acp Posted January 1, 2013 Report Share Posted January 1, 2013 I have been hunting since I was 7 years old, and at the deer camps, I have heard some of the funniest hunting stories, but that one gets the Emmy. My wife said that she has heard me laugh, but in 30 years of marriage never like I did fron your story!!! Thank's and Happy New Year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCbassman Posted January 1, 2013 Report Share Posted January 1, 2013 I know this thread is old, but damn that was funny! What makes it even better is the whole snopes thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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