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Damn. Chris Cornell gone...


98Z5V

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Yea yesterday sucked woke up to that and to find one of my favorite motorcycle racers was hit buy a car on his bicycle in italy

I meet Nicky and his father earl in 2008 in Shanghai at the moto gp they're good people. Got to talk to and listen to earl talk about his boys and his own racing lives for an our or so, i coulda listened to him all night long. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/sport/2017/may/18/nicky-hayden-bike-crash-injuries-motogp

 

i don't normally get chocked up over "celebs", Cornell was an amazing singing with a lot of demons it's a shame.

 

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No sympathy from me on suicides,  selfish crybaby quitters unless they are dealing with some sort of incurable medical issue, medical not mental. Suck it up buttercup, don't punish your loved ones for your shortcomings. They think they had demons here, wait till they arrive on the other side and have one for a roommate.........

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Had a step-son kill himself on 1 Aug 2011.  Just turned 22.  Died from hanging.  Didn't know where his life was going, so he ended it.  SMART kid, like Rainman smart.  Einstein-level smart.  I don't know what was going through his mind at the decision time, but for him, he is in a better place.  I wish I could have done something about it. I split from his mom a year before, and I never talked to him after I left.  He kept in contact with my own mother, and called her for help once - she didn't tell me until months later.  He was all the way across the country, close to me in AZ, and called her, my mom,  for help.  I was close to where he was.  Had I kept in contact with him, maybe he would have called me for that help... 

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I view it differently now, after his death.  I used to have the same mentality as you, prior to it, and I'd seen suicides up close and personal, prior to it.  My mentality changed after he took his own life.  I don't think the same way anymore, about that...

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There was an apprentice Electrician on the job complaining how tough life was. I told him he had the world by the ass and to suck it up. He climbed out a window and jumped to his death.

At the lowest point of my life with the abuse of my father. I won't lie the idea crossed my mine I was fed up. But I sucked it up and went forward. It is but a point in time and it does get better and my belief in God and the fact  that it is a mortal sin.

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Things have to be at their worst, to contemplate something like that.  It means you have no one to talk to, no one to turn to, and no one to help you - or no one that you even trust to talk to about it.

Now, I think about it differently.  Where were the people that were supposed to be the closest to this person?  Where were the people he could turn to?  Why didn't that happen, and why was nobody talking to them?...

In my case, he couldn't talk to his mom. He couldn't talk to his dad.  He killed himself in his grandmothers house, with her home.  No talking.  A few months before, he was in trouble in Phoenix, needed help, and couldn't call me for that help...  Why did he feel that he couldn't call me? I was around him for almost 10 years, more than his own dad was.

Since I'd already been gone for a year, I found out afterwards that there were signs.  People just weren't seeing those signs... 

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23 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

Had a step-son kill himself on 1 Aug 2011.  Just turned 22.  Died from hanging.  Didn't know where his life was going, so he ended it.  SMART kid, like Rainman smart.  Einstein-level smart.  I don't know what was going through his mind at the decision time, but for him, he is in a better place.  I wish I could have done something about it. I split from his mom a year before, and I never talked to him after I left.  He kept in contact with my own mother, and called her for help once - she didn't tell me until months later.  He was all the way across the country, close to me in AZ, and called her, my mom,  for help.  I was close to where he was.  Had I kept in contact with him, maybe he would have called me for that help... 

It's hard but you can't let that shit beat you up man. My cousin basicly my little brother was going thru some shit every time I saw him I asked him if he still had my number told him I loved him and that if he ever needed anything to call me. I knew he smoked weed, no big deal. 3 weeks before he od'd I ran into him we talked did a shot told him like I said above. He didn't look strung out he didn't look like a junkie 3 weeks later I got the call from his mom and im very thankful I wasn't home alone and I was out with friends cuz a part of me died that night. People get shit in their heads and no matter what you can't change them sometimes.......

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4 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

Things have to be at their worst, to contemplate something like that.  It means you have no one to talk to, no one to turn to, and no one to help you - or no one that you even trust to talk to about it.

Now, I think about it differently.  Where were the people that were supposed to be the closest to this person?  Where were the people he could turn to?  Why didn't that happen, and why was nobody talking to them?...

In my case, he couldn't talk to his mom. He couldn't talk to his dad.  He killed himself in his grandmothers house, with her home.  No talking.  A few months before, he was in trouble in Phoenix, needed help, and couldn't call me for that help...  Why did he feel that he couldn't call me? I was around him for almost 10 years, more than his own dad was.

Since I'd already been gone for a year, I found out afterwards that there were signs.  People just weren't seeing those signs... 

I 100% agree with you

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It doesn't beat me up anymore.  It did for awhile.  No matter what, though, I will always wonder if I could have made any changes in him - I did make changes in him while I was around.  After the split, I didn't think it was appropriate to talk to him, and I never reached out to him.  Probably still have his old number in my phone right now, though.

It's the decisions that we ALL make, that make a difference.  Could I have made a positive impact?  I did for awhile.  Could I have changed the outcome?  I'll never know...

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21 minutes ago, unforgiven said:

^^^ There no pity if you can't suck it up. Man up. Pain has been my partner my whole life. Suck it up or get the fuk out of the way. Sadness, demons you have no fukin idea what that is. Deal with it or get the fuk out.:bat: I carry my own fukin water.

 

17 minutes ago, unforgiven said:

I had some good bro's that also killed themselves, still no pity from me. Sorry to hear about your step son. Suicide is the easy way out. Plus God doesn't like it when you leave before he calls you. just sayin. 

Same here, I feel bad for those left behind. In my experience the pain they leave behind is tenfold what they felt themselves. I've been dead on the table and they got me back, it was just a weird experience for me, it was major trauma for my family, I could never do that to them on purpose. 

I have to go talk with an old friend this weekend who is spinning out fast, no job, no prospects, 2 time felon, drugs and women gave him false hope for years, now he is 50 and everything is coming home to roost. family and friends have called and asked me to run him down and see what I can do, he won't return my calls and that is usually a sign he is over his head. I will go let him know I give a poop and want to help, if it looks sketchy I will do what I have to to make sure he is safe, odds are he will not like it but then sometimes tough love is needed. LEO's are already briefed and ready for a call, a benefit of living in a small, tight knit community.

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17 minutes ago, jtallen83 said:

I have to go talk with an old friend this weekend who is spinning out fast, no job, no prospects, 2 time felon, drugs and women gave him false hope for years, now he is 50 and everything is coming home to roost. family and friends have called and asked me to run him down and see what I can do, he won't return my calls and that is usually a sign he is over his head. I will go let him know I give a poop and want to help, if it looks sketchy I will do what I have to to make sure he is safe, odds are he will not like it but then sometimes tough love is needed. LEO's are already briefed and ready for a call, a benefit of living in a small, tight knit community.

You might BE that person that needs to talk to him.  Really.  And if you're not, but you're close enough, it could do the trick. 

That's my perspective on it all now. Sooner or later, we will ALL need someone to talk to, when nothing else will work. 

For that guy ^^^, Jim - family and friends ain't working for him.  That's why they're calling you, brother.  :thumbup:

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Talked a personal acquaintance of mine down off an overpass in Kinney TX, had the local PD pick him up and drop him off with a well-respected psych hospital. He committed suicide in Dallas, two days after leaving the psych facility.

Point being, you can go to the far end of the earth to try and help someone, but ultimately it is up to them to determine that life is worth the effort it takes to enjoy it.

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I have to agree with those of you on here that have no sympathy for suicides.  

I see 98's point of view but I hold that a person's suicide is ultimately their final decision and they are responsible for it.  Some folks simply need help and should get help but once a person becomes an adult they must realize that when led to water they must first drink by their decision alone.

A couple of years ago I lost a cousin to suicide.  This last final act was not his first attempt.  He and I were the same age.  He always had everything going for him that I did and was smart enough to take advantage of it but he didn't.  He allowed his problems and demons to control him instead of him controlling them.

In the late 80(s) his first wife packed her bags and left him.  He decided to jump out in front of a train in an attempt to end it all.  He failed miserably.  He damaged his right arm beyond repair and for the rest of his emotional life he had to wear it in a sling.  He as in his late 20(s) when this happened.

Years later he married again and initially it appeared he and his family were doing fine.  He helped raise the children she brought to the marriage.  One day a couple of years ago this next wife did the same thing as the first and left him.

What does he do ... ???

He loads a .357 magnum and calls his youngest stepdaughter on her cell phone.  When she answered the phone he told her to put the speaker on so her mother could hear.  Her mother walked right up next to her and he told the girl "turn the volume up, I want both of you to hear this, this is what I think of you both now", bit the barrel and pulled the trigger.  This time he fully succeeded.  They discovered later he was recording the whole affair also.

What can we honestly think of a person like that?  The stepdaughter was all of 14 years of age.

A couple of years before this I told his older sister that he needed to be watched.  Although I never really had much time to go see him nor anyone else in that part of the family, I knew from the training and education in my profession that he was emotionally unstable and very prone to future suicidal acts and he needed to be watched.  I explained that "watched" meant to look for certain signs of family problems and other emotional triggers and when clues were seen, somebody needed to take action and get him some help or at least lead him to it.  The bottom line here; HE KNEW HE NEEDED HELP AND ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS ASK FOR IT.

I did not hear from his older sister after this happened.  When I spoke to another cousin who called to give me the news, we both agreed that no matter now distraught and/or bad he felt, the method of his act was proof of a severe degree of selfishness.  Clearly, he knew what he was doing and had no regard for how it may affect people afterwards.  He wanted the easy way out of his own misery.

So no; I have no sympathy for suicide victims at all but I do feel for their families.

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You can't stop everyone, from their true intentions, if that's the case. 

However, when you need someone - and no one is there...   That's my point.   Somewhere along the way, there should be someone that would have talked to you, before the act.  Not everyone is 10 feet tall, two rows of teeth, three coats of hair, and bulletproof - like me.  People need people, and most often, at that time of taking one's life, there's no one that they felt they could talk to.  I bolded "most often" above, because there are the extreme cases out there, and there is no help, people, friends, talking, etc., that's gonna stop it.

And yes - it's always those that are left behind that have to deal with that pain. 

I guess this is just my sensitive side - there's a point in everyone's life that you're gonna need somebody...  When that time comes, and you see it, do something about it.  When that time comes, and YOU need someone, make damn sure you let SOMEONE know...  :thumbup:

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Tom, I agree with a lot of your points, but I don't feel it's that there is no one they think they can talk to.  It's more that there is no way they're willing to talk to anyone. Especially men and probably even more so the ones who seem to be very intelligent. They can solve any problem except for their own. They don't want to show their weakness, they don't want to burden those around them with their issues and they self destruct with a storm of emotions and contemplations on the inside while trying to maintain the appearance to everyone around them that everything is fine. The thought of admitting to someone that they're on the edge is even scarier than the thought of leaving everyone behind. It's definitely a selfish act, but once those thoughts are planted I don't think there is any ammount of brain wrangling anyone can do to make them disappear forever. That's not saying that I don't think someone can be on the edge and never come back and live out the rest of their life, but that those thoughts, those dark emotions are always there. There isn't a corner of the mind far enough away to tuck them into and never think about again. Knowing there are people that care, knowing that they will be missed is help for some, but on the other hand it's a bonus for others. There are those that want to cause pain in the lives of everyone around them when they go. Stories like the one above with the guy calling the stepdaughter.  It's hard to tell what anyone is thinking at any given time and it's impossible to know what help needs to be offered to unlock it.  Some may need to talk about it, some may just need an escape from their everyday routine so they can change their own thought patterns and give themselves the chance to direct their focus elsewhere for a bit.  

I think of a lot of you here as family and would be willing to help anyone here in anyway I can.  Tell the people you love that you love them and be a good friend to those you care about.  It's all you can ever do. And if in the end their thoughts still outweigh the help they know they have available...they may just choose to end it. Don't think twice about how you could have done something different.  Most of them wouldn't want you to carry any of that load for them. Those that are out to cause damage will do it, that's messed up, but I don't think those that just grow tired of tearing themselves apart do it to bring any question or pain to the lives of those who were close. 

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