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The rules by men


mrraley

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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules " from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!



1. Men ARE not mind readers.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.



1. If you won't dress like the 
Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is

also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.

We do that.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, golf or gun stuff.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!



1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I'll have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

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5 minutes ago, sketch said:

badd juju bro let that sleeper lie. 

She's cool.  We parted ways after 10 years.  Wasn't good, wasn't bad - Thank her for me moving from DC back to AZ.  Otherwise, I'd be a woman-smacked jackass living in DC for several years, and it would have pussified me, turned me to total DC-Faggotry and DC Liberalism. I survived.    I left, and got to keep my balls, and slam them around as I saw fit...  :banana:

Too many problems at the time, but she was the one - she just thought that "she didn't need a man."  She knows different now.  She's also the one, with the son that took his own life.  I knew him from the time he was 13, AD/HD as fuk.  He was gone at 22. Just knowing him, and living with him, is the only reason my own AD/HD as Fuk kid didn't get eaten, when he was younger...  That boy of hers proved that they could actually learn, grow, and be something - so I didn't eat my own for it.  I learned how to deal with my own boy, through him, as he was 7 years older than mine. 

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On 9/11/2019 at 12:44 AM, 98Z5V said:

She's cool.  We parted ways after 10 years.  Wasn't good, wasn't bad - Thank her for me moving from DC back to AZ.  Otherwise, I'd be a woman-smacked jackass living in DC for several years, and it would have pussified me, turned me to total DC-Faggotry and DC Liberalism. I survived.    I left, and got to keep my balls, and slam them around as I saw fit...  :banana:

Too many problems at the time, but she was the one - she just thought that "she didn't need a man."  She knows different now.  She's also the one, with the son that took his own life.  I knew him from the time he was 13, AD/HD as fuk.  He was gone at 22. Just knowing him, and living with him, is the only reason my own AD/HD as Fuk kid didn't get eaten, when he was younger...  That boy of hers proved that they could actually learn, grow, and be something - so I didn't eat my own for it.  I learned how to deal with my own boy, through him, as he was 7 years older than mine. 

Okourke if you didn't move?

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