ARTrooper Posted March 13, 2019 Report Share Posted March 13, 2019 I laughed way to hard at the hobo joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JF89 Posted March 13, 2019 Report Share Posted March 13, 2019 (edited) Its hard not to laugh at hobos. Edited March 13, 2019 by JF89 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JF89 Posted March 13, 2019 Report Share Posted March 13, 2019 A girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair. “Sally,” she said, “you didn’t tell me you were going to a wedding.” “I didn’t mom,” Sally replied. “I was giving a bl@wjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DNP Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 Fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 LMFAO ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted March 28, 2019 Report Share Posted March 28, 2019 Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students. This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your center of uranus is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted March 28, 2019 Report Share Posted March 28, 2019 while she's boning his buddy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpairParts Posted March 29, 2019 Report Share Posted March 29, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted April 4, 2019 Report Share Posted April 4, 2019 For some reason I thought this was really funny!. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 Right hand shooter left eye dominate... classic example....😜 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 I wa gonna say a cross-eyed woman probably saw two husbands and shot the wrong one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 1 hour ago, unforgiven said: Right hand shooter left eye dominate... classic example....😜 She's right eye dominant. Can't you see that she's looking at him with her right eye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 Looking at her my eyes are crooked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARTrooper Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 I'm gonna trust the Eye Doc on this one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted April 25, 2019 Report Share Posted April 25, 2019 I fuond this ledder in mi old SeaBag, from my Momma, she shore did luve me, I recckon.... Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or girls so dont know if you are an Aunt or Uncle??? Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one. Love, Mom I know, it brangs a tear to mi I 2! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." “It hasn't affected my brothers though." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sketch Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 hahaha i like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DNP Posted May 2, 2019 Report Share Posted May 2, 2019 Lol. Thanks Mack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted May 5, 2019 Report Share Posted May 5, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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