Joke of the day

ARTrooper · September 25, 2018

don't forget the E-4 Mafia!

suzukiray · October 14, 2018

One day in class the teacher asks Buckwheat "Buckwheat, can you spell the word 'dictate' and then use it in a sentence?"

Buckwheat replied "Yes teacher I can! d-i-c-t-a-t-e!!"

The teacher replies "Very good Buckwheat! Now, can you use it in a sentence?"

Buckwheat replied "Oh yeah teacher, I SHO can!!" He turns around to the girl behind him and asks "Hey Darla, how my dictate last night?"

Edited October 14, 2018 by suzukiray

mrmackc · October 19, 2018

On 8/20/2018 at 10:05 PM, Rsquared said:

It's about Fukin time that you're startin to see it my way. Ya bastard. Do you think that I'd steer a brother wrong?

It's GREAT being a hermit! You only come out for sex when you're good and ready.

?

Edited October 19, 2018 by mrmackc

mrmackc · October 19, 2018

mrmackc · October 19, 2018

On 8/17/2018 at 8:12 PM, sketch said:

what store does a dog go to after its tail is removed?

I damn near bit my Mom's tit off when I first heard this "joke'! the Dog went to a retail store of course!

Sisco · October 19, 2018

15 minutes ago, mrmackc said:

I damn near bit my Mom's tit off when I first heard this "joke'! the Dog went to a retail store of course!

No wonder I didn’t get it. I frequent the “Ho Sale” club instead.

mrmackc · October 25, 2018

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DNP · October 25, 2018

That's fantastic! Good find.

mrmackc · October 26, 2018

Do you think this is just a JOKE,...or something really sick and stupid?

mrmackc · November 1, 2018

suzukiray · November 4, 2018

98Z5V · November 4, 2018

Eye Doc blew that one out on 27 Oct, man... :thumbup:

JF89 · November 5, 2018

Good thread , I dont know very many pg13 jokes though.

98Z5V · November 6, 2018

18 hours ago, JF89 said:

Good thread , I dont know very many pg13 jokes though.

They don't need to be PG13 here, man. "Letter Rip"... :lmao:

JF89 · November 6, 2018

4 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

They don't need to be PG13 here, man. "Letter Rip"...

You ever heard the Jolly rancher one? Im skeptical of posting it, its filth.

98Z5V · November 6, 2018

Just now, JF89 said:

You ever heard the Jolly rancher one? Im skeptical of posting it, its filth.

Filth goes well here - don't be shy. Man the Fuk up or stop talking about it already... :lmao: :banana:

JF89 · November 6, 2018

2 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

Filth goes well here - don't be shy. Man the Fuk up or stop talking about it already...

Ok but youve been warned...

"Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else."

98Z5V · November 6, 2018

That's not a joke!!! That happened to ME!!!..... :lmao: :banana:

Armed Eye Doc · November 6, 2018

15 minutes ago, 98Z5V said:

That's not a joke!!! That happened to ME!!!.....

So the rabid beaver story WAS a euphemism.

98Z5V · November 6, 2018

2 minutes ago, Armed Eye Doc said:

So the rabid beaver story WAS a euphemism.

No, that was a real beaver, wood-cutting fangs and flat tail and all. Largest Pollock I've ever been friends with in life, Ski, screamed like a girl and ran, when it attacked... I never mentioned any attacks from any of the "other beavers" here, though... Well, besides that last crazyass one...

Edited November 6, 2018 by 98Z5V