She said maybe we should just text each other

[Matt.Cross]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Maybe
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want...
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = But you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV
18. How much do you love me? I did something today that you're really not going to like


MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. I am hungry = I am hungry
5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
6. I am tired = I am tired
7. Nice dress = Nice tits
8. I love you = Let's have sex
9. I am bored = Let's have sex
10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person because I'd like to have sex with you.

[unforgiven]

Forgot one brother. Women:  We'll see= NO.

[sketch]

If your in the garage /your up to no good (reloading)

If you leave the room up to /no good (taking out trash)

Why are you always on your phone / no good (work)

You don't watch the same tv / no good ( chicks make you mad at me for watching your show or you talk threw the whole thing)

You don't talk to me / no good ( I don't know how to gossip)

Just got a text: garbage is full. while I was in the garage talking to a work buddy about reloading and politics and chicks (chickens)

Can't live with or without em!

[Microgunner]

Just tell em the truth. Your witty conversational skills is not what attracted me to you. If you can't deal with that then it's good we find out now before things become even more complicated.

[washguy]

DNP    You violated rule#1 :))      and you are a rude SOB for using your cell phone at the dinner table with your wife <laughs>

with all due respect   :)  Wash

[shibiwan]

So.... now that there's sewage in the back yard spewing out of the septic, I'm suddenly right, on the condition that I get it fixed. 

 

!@$^#@%$#%&I*^#%$^@#&%*^%$%@&$ KID BROKE THE DAMM THING!  

 

...do I get to rub it in that I never wanted to take in 6yo's?

Edited March 27, 2014 by shibiwan

[DNP]

I gotta keep up with the forum...

I disagree with rule #1. I think it's only fair that she waits her turn to speak. Raise a hand or something if you need to say something....geez. <laughs>

Edited March 27, 2014 by DNP

[washguy]

So.... now that there's sewage in the back yard spewing out of the septic, I'm suddenly right, on the condition that I get it fixed. 

 

!@$^#@%$#%&I*^#%$^@#&%*^%$%@&$ KID BROKE THE DAMM THING!  

 

...do I get to rub it in that I never wanted to take in 6yo's?

Shibi    well its your poop after all isnt it? <laughs>   and yes you get to rub it in....the poop that is  <lmao>   Wash

[shibiwan]

Forgot one brother. Women:  We'll see= NO.

 

Correction

We'll see = you are going to lose in the end.

 

 

Shibi    well its your poop after all isnt it? <laughs>    and yes you get to rub it in....the poop that is   <lmao>   Wash

 

My poop only makes up 1/7th of it. Besides, I usually take large dumps at work so that makes it less than 1/7th at home. Add to that all those tampon inserter devices, those wrappers etc.....

Edited March 28, 2014 by shibiwan

[unforgiven]

Now that is bad chi..it. :eek:

[shibiwan]

.....and the kid who broke the pipe/inspection vents did it DELIBERATELY because he was mad that he flushed toys down the john..... I was tempted to chuck the little b*%^@#$ into the sewage pool

Edited March 28, 2014 by shibiwan

[98Z5V]

.....and the kid who broke the pipe/inspection vents did it DELIBERATELY because he was mad that he flushed toys down the john..... I was tempted to chuck the little b*%^@#$ into the sewage pool

 

I think he and I would have to have a talk about this $hit!...  

 

 

<lmao>

[imschur]

An old friend used to always say "there is two types of women, your mother and the other kind"

[washguy]

.....and the kid who broke the pipe/inspection vents did it DELIBERATELY because he was mad that he flushed toys down the john..... I was tempted to chuck the little b*%^@#$ into the sewage pool

Shibi send him out to the sewage pool and let him make "mud pies" :) Wash

[shepp]

An old friend used to always say "there is two types of women, your mother and the other kind"

Saying at deer camp "rule number 3 every woman's a cunt except your mother, just ask your father"

[jtallen83]

I never do. Even though I remember clearly what exactly happened and can describe it word for word, she always has a different version from an parallel universe.

 

Great thing these days is my 16yo daughter backs up my version.

Don't get used to it, that will soon change!