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Joke of the day


Toolndie7

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3 hours ago, washguy said:

Try this one on for size       Wash

 
For those of you who think you may have Alzheimers...
image
The School of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania conducted a survey called “What really do you see?”
 
 
People were asked to focus their attention on this simple picture and then asked if they had noticed anything odd.
 
Now you also have a chance to test your skills and see if you can pass………
Study the picture for 5 seconds. What did you notice?

 
 
Here are the Results of the Survey:

1. 100% of males failed this test. They were distracted by the woman’s large bosom.
 
2. 100% of the females also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.
 
 
 
The real answer (see below):
.
.
.
.
.
There’s a mouse on one of the doughnuts……..now don’t tell me you saw it. I won’t believe you.
 
 
 
 
 
 Alzheimer’s, you ask?
           
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 

Could be

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Trump joke:

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN…..      

A large earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit 
the Middle East.
Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured.

Iraq, Iran and Syria were totally ruined and the governments asked for

help to rebuild.
The rest of the world was in shock.
Great Britain sent troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia sent oil and monetary assistance.
Latin American countries sent clothing.
New Zealand and Australia sent sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries sent labor to assist in rebuilding the
infrastructure.
Canada sent medical teams and supplies.
The new American President, Donald Trump, not to be outdone, sent 
two million replacement Muslims.
God Bless President Trump!

 

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10 minutes ago, mrmackc said:

Trump joke:

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN…..      


A large earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit 

the Middle East.

Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured.

Iraq, Iran and Syria were totally ruined and the governments asked for


help to rebuild.

The rest of the world was in shock.

Great Britain sent troops to help keep the peace.

Saudi Arabia sent oil and monetary assistance.

Latin American countries sent clothing.

New Zealand and Australia sent sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries sent labor to assist in rebuilding the

infrastructure.

Canada sent medical teams and supplies.

The new American President, Donald Trump, not to be outdone, sent 

two million replacement Muslims.

God Bless President Trump!

 

?

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  • 2 weeks later...

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent’s. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”

He leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

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:lmao:   :laffs:

Little Johnny wanted to but some rubbers,Walks into a drug store and see a women behind the counter. Walks on over all embarrassed,face red. Lady said "what can I help you with?"

Johnny said " I need some rubbers" . What size ? She said. Size??? I don't know...

She said "you see that fence out back with the knot holes" stick your penis in a hole and come back and let me know which fits best.

Johnny comes back a half hour later and the women said " well what will it be ??"

Johnny said " forget about those rubbers, I'll take 10 feet of that fence".

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A recent article in the West Australian newspaper reported that a woman, Mrs Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

 

A hospital spokesman replied:

 

"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery.

 

All we did was correct his eyesight."

 

 

http://static.uglyhedgehog.com/upload/2016/12/9/20854-image001.jpg

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20 minutes ago, Armed Eye Doc said:

A recent article in the West Australian newspaper reported that a woman, Mrs Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

 

A hospital spokesman replied:

 

"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery.

 

All we did was correct his eyesight."

 

 

http://static.uglyhedgehog.com/upload/2016/12/9/20854-image001.jpg

tuna steak.jpg

 

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