slugger43 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Likely confusion as to the word form??? Not likely a word describing a device, ie. a noun. More likely more of something, such as, "he pulled out ahead, and was forwarder than the other guy:.... Or, Joe kissed her nose. Bob kissed her boobs. Bob was forwarder than Joe. Yuk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planeflyer21 Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Is forwarder a word?!? Its a danged ol sound forwarder!!!Careful...they'll use that for Hiterly's campaign. "Obama started us forward but the country is still standing there is still work to be done. Let's go forwarder!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepp Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 Careful...they'll use that for Hiterly's campaign. "Obama started us forward but the country is still standing there is still work to be done. Let's go forwarder!"haha my point exactly, words of a hillbilly lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 A sky diving storyThis Baptist preacher was telling about his skydiving adventure. One of his church’s members challenged Preacher Man Bobby Ray to show some bravery and his lack of fear by learning to sky dive.Bobby Ray signed up to sky diving class and he practiced jumping off a simulated Cessna airplane and the next Saturday went up for his first dive, this happened near Beaumont Texas. The Instructor briefed them before they jumped. …”After you jump count to ten 1---2---3---4---5-- to --10 and pull the ring on your chest, the chute will pop out open and you will float to the ground at the city park.. But if it don’t pop out no problem, pull the rip cord on the emergency chute, at your left shoulder, then the chute will pop and you will float down.Bobby Ray counted almost to ten and pulled the rip cord at 9400 feet above the park, NOTHING HAPPENED! Bobby said “Oh Lord Hep Me”! And pulled the emergency chute rip cord, nothing…. Bobby Ray looked down and saw little people on the ground, and kept on falling and praying, at about 6000’ he saw a white cloud of smoke come up off the ground, Bobby Ray said…Oh Lord please send someone to help me’ about that time he saw a man appear out of the white cloud flying up about as fast as Bobby Ray was falling, coming directly towards him. The man stopped shooting up and began falling at the same rate that Bobby was falling. Bobby said “OH THANK YOU LORD for sending him to help me!” Bobby Ray shouted to the man; Do you know anything about parachutes?” The man looked kinda funny and said to Bobby Ray “No, but do you know anything about Coleman Stoves?....Evidently, his chute popped open and he grabbed the man and floated to the ground, otherwise, Bobby Ray could not have told this story at his church the next Sunday…. This is my Story and I'm sticking to it,Mrmackc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted October 31, 2015 Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 Dumb as a box of RocksTRUE STORY :A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. MS Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?''Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..''What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.Well, you might ask , 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.' Sadly, they walk among us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikedaddyH Posted October 31, 2015 Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 Dumb as a box of RocksTRUE STORY :A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. MS Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?''Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..''What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.Well, you might ask , 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.' Sadly, they walk among us! Fifty plus votes from 3rd in line to run the country ! FN Scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted November 3, 2015 Report Share Posted November 3, 2015 Ahhhh, memories… Dating in 1958. You need to be able to remember the era to really enjoy this....It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.He arrived at her house and rang the bell."Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in."So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked."Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach.""Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him."Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous."Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!""Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening."Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her."The TWIST, Mom, the TWIST!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "THE DAMN DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt.Cross Posted November 3, 2015 Report Share Posted November 3, 2015 ROFLMAO..... That's hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted November 4, 2015 Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 Oh yes that is a good one, like when a preacher went to visit a member that had surgery and the man's wife told the preacher that they had to split his scrotum.the next time that they went to church, the preacher said "it is good to see Joe here today after having his scrotum split" Joe "Yelled the sternum it was the sternum!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted November 6, 2015 Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his game.On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help." He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh.""No, I wouldn't," he said.She said, "I sell tampons."With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.She said, "See, I knew you would laugh.""That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sketch Posted November 7, 2015 Report Share Posted November 7, 2015 Hahaha! Nice one Doc!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasyEJL Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Oh man, that's hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This becomes a routine until one late evening, the two enter again.“The usual?” asks the waitress.“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man.“Same for me,” says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “that will be $12.62.” Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 Ray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
392heminut Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a lesbian too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 me too... and I'd always thought I was a truck driver... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 Ain't it strange how things change when we really get down to the interesting and important situation?Yep, I never thought about being a Lesbian anything?... I always thought I was a Heterosexual American MaleBut Oh Well here we go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c95_1416256401 Guy accidentally hits "Fap" button on his prosthetic arm!! LMAO!!! Looks like Tom too!! LOL!!!Ray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DNP Posted November 13, 2015 Report Share Posted November 13, 2015 Still kinda wondering why you were googling gay cowboys..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt.Cross Posted November 13, 2015 Report Share Posted November 13, 2015 Still kinda wondering why you were googling gay cowboys.....Lesbian Cowboy, technically not strictly "gay cowboy", which would just be well, gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planeflyer21 Posted November 13, 2015 Report Share Posted November 13, 2015 http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c95_1416256401 Guy accidentally hits "Fap" button on his prosthetic arm!! LMAO!!! Looks like Tom too!! LOL!!!Ray.That was awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slugger43 Posted December 2, 2015 Report Share Posted December 2, 2015 Trying To Set A Password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.USER: cabbageWINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.USER: boiled cabbageWINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.USER: 1 boiled cabbageWINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.USER:50fuckingboiledcabbagesWINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.USER:50FUCKINGboiledcabbagesWINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.USER:50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.USER:ReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNowWINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 Thanks now I have to change my password bro....BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planeflyer21 Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 Lesbians shouldn't be allowed to own dildos. They already made their decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sketch Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 +1^^? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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