.308LiteHunter Posted January 21, 2015 Report Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) Edited January 21, 2015 by .308LiteHunter
Sisco Posted January 23, 2015 Report Posted January 23, 2015 HELL EXPLAINED The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Sisco Posted January 23, 2015 Report Posted January 23, 2015 Sounds like he got an A in his night class as well.
.308LiteHunter Posted January 23, 2015 Report Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) That's awesome! Edited January 23, 2015 by .308LiteHunter
suzukiray Posted January 23, 2015 Report Posted January 23, 2015 A guy & his wife have a 4 year old son. One night, before having sex, the Dad goes into the bathroom to put on a condom. Unfortunately, the kid walks in. He doesn't want the kid to know what he's doing so he drops down on his hands & knees like he's looking for something. The 4 year old asks "Whatcha doin Daddy?" The dad replies "I thought I saw a mouse!" The 4 year old replies "Are ya gonna phuck it?"
Sisco Posted February 3, 2015 Report Posted February 3, 2015 Two Norwegians go to Collect Unemployment Sven and Ole worked together in a Minnesota factory.....and both were laid off. So...dey vent to der Unemployment Office togedder. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties." The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in unemployment compensation. Sven, when asked his occupation replied, "Diesel Fitter". The clerk looked up Diesel Fitter...and it was classified as skilled. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation. When Ole found this out, he was yus furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits. The clerk explained, "Panty Stitchers are unskilled labor and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor." "Vat skill ? yelled Ole. "I sew da elastic on da panties. Sven puts dem over his head and says, "Yah,------------- DIESEL FITTER". (If you don't understand a word of this, then you're not Norwegian or from Minnesota!)
shepp Posted February 3, 2015 Report Posted February 3, 2015 Two Norwegians go to Collect Unemployment Sven and Ole worked together in a Minnesota factory.....and both were laid off. So...dey vent to der Unemployment Office togedder. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties." The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in unemployment compensation. Sven, when asked his occupation replied, "Diesel Fitter". The clerk looked up Diesel Fitter...and it was classified as skilled. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation. When Ole found this out, he was yus furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits. The clerk explained, "Panty Stitchers are unskilled labor and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor." "Vat skill ? yelled Ole. "I sew da elastic on da panties. Sven puts dem over his head and says, "Yah,------------- DIESEL FITTER". (If you don't understand a word of this, then you're not Norwegian or from Minnesota!) Or ah Yupper der Read it clear as a bell but being in wisconsin we know most tge ole and Sven ole and Lena jokes lol
Sisco Posted February 3, 2015 Report Posted February 3, 2015 And the Norwegian terrorists, Ole Bin Loggin and Yassir U Betcha. Ole made such enthusiastic love to Lena, she said her toes curled, but it turns out she forgot to take off her pantyhose. I will stop now and spare you guys.
Matt.Cross Posted February 3, 2015 Report Posted February 3, 2015 Ole made such enthusiastic love to Lena, she said her toes curled, but it turns out she forgot to take off her pantyhose. ROFLMAO
shepp Posted February 3, 2015 Report Posted February 3, 2015 Oh den ders da one bout OL Lena pee'n off da brige der Lena an ole were out for a walk der an Lena sez ole I gotta pee, ole says Lena go over der to da brige der an pee off der, so she does an as she's bout to do her business der she yells "ole I can't do dis dars a man down der and hes stare'n at me" ole yells back ooooo Lena dat ders jus ur reflection
392heminut Posted February 6, 2015 Report Posted February 6, 2015 <laughs> My wife just got some new instructions for my cremation (if I go before her)!
mineralman55 Posted February 6, 2015 Report Posted February 6, 2015 An Irishman with membership in the IRA feels guilty for his acts of violence, and goes to confession. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. I blew up 40 miles of British rails." The Irish priest replies "Your sin is most grevious my son. For your penence, you must now blow up the stations as well."
Armed Eye Doc Posted February 6, 2015 Report Posted February 6, 2015 image.jpg LOL Little sheet heads it is then.
unforgiven Posted February 7, 2015 Report Posted February 7, 2015 LOL Little sheet heads it is then. Motion has been made.....do I have a second.........Motion passed sheet heads it is.... <laughs>
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