Joke of the day

[98Z5V]

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  

[Radioactive]

5 hours ago, Cunuckgaucho said:

I just threw up in my mouth a little at the thought🤮

[unforgiven]

Hahaha

[shooterrex]

[shooterrex]

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[shooterrex]

[mrmackc]

This is a"joke of the day" , but not of today, it is an old joke.

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is
Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile , and I am callin' to
tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my
cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from
Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one
and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry
to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed
that many prisoners."

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

 

[unforgiven]

[Armed Eye Doc]

[Cunuckgaucho]

The U.S. has banned groups larger than 5.
If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favorite!
~~~~~
Health Tip: If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
~~~~~
My $250,000 house got TP’d last night … it’s now appraised at $875,000
~~~~~
Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
~~~~~
The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where bras are required!
~~~~~
I’m so excited it’s time to take the garbage out!
I wonder what I should wear?
~~~~~
Remember when we were little and our underwear had the days of the week on them?
Yeah, they would be very helpful right now.
~~~~
Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier.
If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!
~~~~~
Today’s Weather?
Room temperature!
~~~~~
30 Days Hath September, June and November
All the rest have 31 … except April which seems to have 8000
~~~~~
Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.
Now weed is legal and schools are closed … these kids are living’ the dream!
~~~~~
This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!
~~~~~
After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside.
I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them.
Now I understand dogs.
~~~~~
Day 8 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house:
We’re losing money by the minute.
Cocktails are acceptable at any hour

[shooterrex]

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[shooterrex]

[unforgiven]

Hahaha great ones

[Cunuckgaucho]

[98Z5V]

That's EXCELLENT!!!   

[Rsquared]

That's Out-Fucking-Standing!

[sagebrush]

we put a new porch on a year ago wish I had thought of that

[sketch]

mfer if I find that shits.. great idea for the new kids on the block! 🍻🖕🏻

[Sharpshooter]

5 hours ago, Cunuckgaucho said:

 

 

Even the wife said "where can I get one? That looks perfect!"

[Cunuckgaucho]

Importance of Original Knowledge
Principle #1: Don't trust retellers, get hold of the original sources.

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.

"The word is celebrate," says the old monk with tears in his eyes.

[98Z5V]

1 hour ago, Cunuckgaucho said:

Importance of Original Knowledge
Principle #1: Don't trust retellers, get hold of the original sources.

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.

"The word is celebrate," says the old monk with tears in his eyes.

This is valuable information - and should be applied to all .308 AR parts as well.  DPMS LR-308 based parts advertised as "AR-10," etc.  Principle #1: Don't trust retellers, get hold of the original sources.

Retailers/"Retellers" -  don't know what they fuk they're talking about, or selling - and they don't know the differences between all the parts, because they're stupid, and only after money.

I need to use this, and propose a new Rule or Lesson, here...  I think it should be a Lesson.  There is only ONE Lesson here on this board, and it's Lesson 65b - "You Snooze, You Lose..."   Don't wait too long for that part that's in stock, or that gun that you want - you wait, it's gone.  Lesson 65b. 

The way Eric told it, I think the new "rule" or "lesson" should be the new "principal" here on the board... 

Principle #1: Don't trust retellers, get hold of the original sources.

What you see online, specs you find, details listed - are usually bullshiit.  Sellers don't care, they move product. They don't care that their ads are wrong, they're selling to whomever is buying, usually the uneducated .308AR buyer.  Wrong parts, don't work, can't figure out how my AR-10 doesn't work with all my AR-10 parts,   - and it's an off brand cheap junk DPMS LR-308 pattern - loosely...  in the first place...

I love it.  Principle #1.  Don't trust retellers, get ahold of the original source...

 

Edited May 12, 2020 by 98Z5V

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