Belt Fed Posted March 11, 2021 Report Share Posted March 11, 2021 7 hours ago, Sharpshooter said: So, do you really believe all the states with republican legislatures cheated on the election to allow a democrat to win the presidency? Really? Not all of them, just the ones they needed to win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belt Fed Posted March 11, 2021 Report Share Posted March 11, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted March 11, 2021 Report Share Posted March 11, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted March 11, 2021 Report Share Posted March 11, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
392heminut Posted March 11, 2021 Report Share Posted March 11, 2021 16 hours ago, Sharpshooter said: So, do you really believe all the states with republican legislatures cheated on the election to allow a democrat to win the presidency? Really? Nope, just the ones they needed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sketch Posted March 12, 2021 Report Share Posted March 12, 2021 Doc good shits !! 🍻🍻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted March 12, 2021 Report Share Posted March 12, 2021 The Big Joke of the day is on T.V. right now giving his FIRST speech to the American People. 👇👇👇 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
98Z5V Posted March 12, 2021 Report Share Posted March 12, 2021 2 hours ago, mrmackc said: The Big Joke of the day is on T.V. right now giving his FIRST speech to the American People. 👇👇👇 YEP!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted March 24, 2021 Report Share Posted March 24, 2021 I was in my backyard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled at me, 'You need a piece of tail.' I turned with a confused look on my face and said, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shooterrex Posted March 25, 2021 Report Share Posted March 25, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belt Fed Posted April 2, 2021 Report Share Posted April 2, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted April 3, 2021 Report Share Posted April 3, 2021 On 4/2/2021 at 6:24 AM, Belt Fed said: Belt Fed, do you know what the difference is between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armed Eye Doc Posted April 3, 2021 Report Share Posted April 3, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
392heminut Posted April 4, 2021 Report Share Posted April 4, 2021 On 4/2/2021 at 7:24 AM, Belt Fed said: THAT would be my wife right there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpshooter Posted April 6, 2021 Report Share Posted April 6, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted April 28, 2021 Report Share Posted April 28, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzukiray Posted May 7, 2021 Report Share Posted May 7, 2021 A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned ☝her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted May 9, 2021 Report Share Posted May 9, 2021 This has been around for awhile but it seems appropriate for today's world: Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night." Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! We don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said,"We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back." Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted May 10, 2021 Report Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) What? Edited May 10, 2021 by mrmackc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmackc Posted May 13, 2021 Report Share Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'... Edited May 13, 2021 by mrmackc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sketch Posted May 25, 2021 Report Share Posted May 25, 2021 What did the blind man say, while walking by the fish market.. Hi ladies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belt Fed Posted May 29, 2021 Report Share Posted May 29, 2021 Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating. She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?" I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works." We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe. Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?" I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready." We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow. My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?" I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex." Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye. She said: "Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19." Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her. She replied: "You seem to have lost your sense of smell." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted May 30, 2021 Report Share Posted May 30, 2021 Hahaha 😅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belt Fed Posted June 8, 2021 Report Share Posted June 8, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewolf McQuade Posted June 8, 2021 Report Share Posted June 8, 2021 🤣😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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