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Posted

Three tampons are walking down the street,  a heavey ,a normal, a lightweight. 

Which one says HI first?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

None they are all stuck up cunts 🍻🍻

  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

Yes, I knew that, I posted it in a joke thread and didn't use a question mark. What I wrote was only an intro. I deliberately posted it as a link so as not to show that as it would have given it all away. 

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Posted

I recently started a job selling alarms door to door and I must admit, I'm really good at it. If no one's home, I just leave a brochure on their kitchen table.

Posted (edited)

My first year in college I got a job at the University’s Veterinary Med school as a vet tech. One of the first set of procedures I assisted in was for sanitary reasons they had decided to circumcise all the Vet School’s herd of bulls and steers for sanitary reasons. While the hourly pay wasn’t very good, the tips were huge.

Edited by Sisco
  • 3 months later...
Posted

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. He accidentally typed in the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the email to a widow who had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her emails, expecting condolence message from friends and relatives. After reading the first message she fainted. The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read : To my loving wife, I know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send emails to loved ones. I've just arrived and have realized how much I miss you. So in talking to my superiors, it has been arranged for you to be joining me here tomorrow! I can hardly wait to see you!

  • 3 months later...
Posted

Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems colder. There was a time not long ago. When life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand about living in the past. We used to go to weddings, football games and lunches. Now we go to funeral homes and after funeral brunches. We used to go out dining and couldn't get our fill now we ask for doggy bags, come home and take a pill. We used to often travel to places near and far now we get sore asses from riding in our car. We used to go to night clubs and drink a little booze now we stay home at night and watch the evening news. That, my friends is how life is and now my tale is told so enjoy each day and Live It Up!! Before you're too damn old.

 

Posted

What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping??

 

 

 

one snatch’s watches 

 

 

 

the other watches snatch’s 

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Just as warning!!! .... Be careful out there the police are out there checking on motorist driving under the influence( you know what I mean). I was out the other night enjoying a "few cocktails", well it was a special evening. One thing led to another, and I had a few too many martinis. Not a good idea! Knowing I was over the limit, I  decided to leave my car and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a bus,they just waved it past. I  arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I'm not sure where I got it from. Now it's parked in my neighbors driveway, and I don't know what to do with it. HELP

  • 4 weeks later...
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